Best. Day. Ever.

 
Lamar Johnson, 1983 Fleer

What was my best day?

I could say something sweet like "the day I got married." Sure, that was a momentous day, but not really a day I accomplished much. I just kind of stood there. Plus I get panic attacks sometimes in church for whatever reason, so I did a lot of awkward fidgeting during Mass that was eloquently captured by our videographer. Probs not my best day.

One day when I was kid I mowed like, seven lawns in one day, front AND back, playa. That was a testament to my youthful endurance and not necessarily any inherent skill, although the way I could navigate that mower around a tree with exposed roots was a sight to behold. J/k I used to run over the roots all the time, which made a very loud screeching noise and would violently fling sharpened wooden projectiles as far as 100 yards away. Anyway, probably not my best day either, but pretty dang close. If I am ever looking for a landscaping job (which may happen soon considering I work in newspapers), I am totally going to put that day on my resume.

(Speaking of resumes, I went to college with a guy who - no joke - put how many points he averaged on his high school basketball team on his resume. It was for a job in like finance or something. Seriously. His roommates senior year found and nailed it to the wall. It was amazing.)

Speaking of sports, what about sports? Not to brag, but I did some sports back in the day. I had some good days and some terrible days. During my first soccer game in first grade I scored a goal in the wrong goal. On the very first play of my very first Pop Warner football game in fifth grade I got the wind knocked out of me. Game stopped, trainers came out, dad stood proud on the sidelines. Soccer and football are the worst. HOWEVER, I did win a foul shooting contest in eighth grade. Was that my best day? Maybe, but I never wanted to be THAT GUY constantly re-living the glory days of winning foul shooting contests. Yeah, sure I did it, but it's time to move on, everyone.

Of course, who can even count the tremendous days I've had as an Internet blogger? Two posts in one day? Yep. That day Blogger went down and I persevered enough to eventually post that thing about whatever? Totes. That day I posted that thing about nonsense, and then posted the link to Facebook AND Twitter? Honestly, I've done that several times, all in day's work. I'm not looking for awards here, just talking this out.

I honestly don't know what my best day has been, which is probably an indicator that I've never had a best day. That either means I need to rethink the entire path of my life, or I should stay the course and my best day is yet to come! Let's go with the latter.

What about you, reader? What was your best day? J/k don't care. But feel free to leave in comments, I guess.

And hey, what about you, Lamar Johnson? What is your best day, besides the day you were utterly surprised by having your picture taken for a baseball card?

On perhaps the best day in his career, on June 19, 1977, against the A's, Johnson sang the National Anthem before the game, and followed up with two homers, the only White Sox hits on the day, as the Sox won 2-1.

Yes, PERHAPS. Jiminy Christmas, Lamar Johnson ... thanks for ruining this fun exercise.

The BMC Blog

Batman, 1989 Topps, No. 3

First, allow me to apologize. This is not a baseball card. This is a Batman card that I found in my baseball cards. I am sorry. I mean, not really. I am not really that sorry or else I just wouldn't have posted this. But really - I am sorry.

Guys, though, seriously. This card. You got your Kim Basinger, your Michael Keaton ... some books. This card has everything. Now, I know this is from the movie, but like, this very shot? Is this a still shot from the movie? Maybe a part where that guy from Arli$$ is badgering them about something and Kim and Mike are all like, whatevs, but also don't want to be rude? Maybe. I don't know, haven't seen the movie in a while. OR - and hear me out now - is this a posed shot for a Topps Batman card? I think it might be - I want it to be - a posed shot for a Topps Batman card.

"Alright everybody, CUT! Gonna take a 20 here. Fred, you ready? Guys, this is Fred from Topps ... " - Tim Burton

I don't know. All I know is, you can cut the sexual tension in here with a Bat-knife. If you look up "smoldering" in the dictionary, there is a picture of this Batman card. Where is Alfred? Someone needs to hose these two off with a fire extinguisher, amirite? #batman #batsex #exposedshoulders

The other cool thing about this card is that it's a sticker?

That is great because the places one would want to stick this Batman sticker are limitless. I cannot think of one place 11-year-old me would NOT want to proudly display this sticker of Micheal Keaton and Kim Basinger looking harrowingly into my very soul. I don't know though, this "peel" might be a typo because I have been trying to peel this sticker off for the better part of a morning - SORRY BOSS, NOT NOW, TRYING TO PEEL OFF THIS BATMAN STICKER - and it is not budging. It's possible a quarter century of dormancy has atrophied the stickiness, but I honestly thought Topps was better than that. Or was this made in Vietnam? Sheesh.

But all is not lost because whether this is a sticker or not, the back of the card features The Joker's hat and crotch.

If anybody out there has the other parts of this Joker puzzle, please keep it to yourself because this is embarrassing for everyone. Also, Ben, is it cool if I post a Batman card this week? If yes, say nothing.

Cool.

Braveheart

 Alex Cole, 1991 Fleer Ultra

Outfielder Alex Cole looked off into the distance. The enemy troops were fast approaching. "It's okay," Alex Cole thought. "I have my bats."

Alex Cole envisioned a world of freedom, where it didn't matter if you were a position player or a pitcher, black or white, man or horse, gay or super gay or even straight, whatevs. Like he himself had written on his nation's "Declaration of Things," "This should be a place where everyone can just chill. Peace out, - AC."

But the enemy (Hater Nation) didn't want to chill. They wanted to fight. Alex Cole was cool with that, too. Because Alex Cole was a triple threat.

He could get mad, take a hack (with a bat or axe).

He could rest on one knee and observe (like a general).

He could bunt.

So on that fateful day, as a nation looked on with both hope and trepidation, its leader, outfielder Alex Cole, turned around to speak, his imposing presence amidst the backdrop of a partly cloudy sky.

"Gentleman," he began, " ... and chickenheads HOLLA just playin'. For real though - today is a day that will live on in history, the day we stood our ground and earned our everlasting freedom once and for all! So grab your bats, make sure your wraparound glasses are super-tight, and let's do this, son! Also, if anything should happen out there - like if this gets out of control and sh*t goes DOWN - my hat says No. 2. So somebody find it and bury me with it, aiiiiight?"

New Custom Set: 1978 Topps Traded

So. There are a ton of great interpretations out there on the Web of what an extended series would look like for 1978 Topps. Here's my take: the three-headed design co-opt Topps used for its 1980–81 basketball set. To spice up the idea, I've added noted draft picks from the 1978 drafts. So on top of all-star-caliber players who changed teams either right before the start of or during the season (like Bert Blyleven, Vida Blue, Dennis Eckersley, Gaylord Perry, and Bobby Bonds—twice) and a few common players, I've included somewhere in the neighborhood of 17 draft picks who went on to star in the majors.

This should be a fun project. I'll probably add them to our Facebook page as I complete them. Here's my checklist:

	1	Bobby Bonds	White Sox
		Rawly Eastwick	Phillies
		Mel Hall	Cubs Draft Pick
	2	Jim Essian	A's
		Danny Heep	Astros Draft Pick
		Gaylord Perry	Padres
	3	Bill North	Dodgers
		Tim Wallach	Angels Draft Pick
		Shane Rawley	Mariners
	4	Cal Ripken Jr.	Orioles Draft Pick
		Vida Blue	Giants
		Ryne Sandberg	Phillies Draft Pick
	5	Rudy May	Expos
		Hubie Brooks	Mets Draft Pick
		Al Hrabosky	Royals
	6	John Mayberry	Blue Jays
		Rick Wise	Indians
		Bob Horner	Braves Draft Pick
	7	Gene Garber	Braves
		Kirk Gibson	Tigers Draft Pick
		Pablo Torrealba	White Sox
	8	Ben Oglivie	Brewers
		Jim Bouton	Braves
		Kent Hrbek	Twins Draft Pick
	9	Jerry Remy	Red Sox
		Manny Sanguillen	Pirates
		Bobby Bonds	Rangers
	10	Steve Renko	A's
		Claudell Washington	White Sox
		Andy Hawkins	Padres Draft Pick
	11	Rico Carty	Blue Jays
		Steve Balboni	Yankees Draft Pick
		Willie Horton	Indians
	12	Andy Messersmith	Yankees
		Ken Holtzman	Cubs
		Dave Stieb	Blue Jays Draft Pick
	13	Lloyd Moseby	Blue Jays Draft Pick
		Andy Etchebarren	Brewers
		Bud Harrelson	Phillies
	14	Mike Morgan	A's Draft Pick
		Dennis Eckersley	Red Sox
		George Hendrick	Cardinals
	15	Tom Brunansky	Angels Draft Pick
		Bert Blyleven	Pirates
		Jay Johnstone	Yankees
	16	Buddy Biancalana	Royals Draft Pick
		Rick Miller	Angels
		Nick Esasky	Reds Draft Pick

The Club

Rafael Palmeiro, 1994 Topps Stadium Club "Home Run Club"

Welcome to "hr club," only the most exclusive collection of human resource professionals in the country. Network with like-minded HR reps, develop new strategies for hiring and firing, learn about sexual harassment in the workplace and how to help facilitate employee-employer relationships.

J/K IT'S THE HOME RUN CLUB, Y'ALL.

 

Q: What does one have to do to get into HR Club?

A: HIT HOME RUNS.

Q: How many home runs, specifically?

A: LOTS OF 'EM, WE'LL BE THE JUDGE, OKAY?

Q: Any other requirements?

A: BIG FOREARMS/TWO PLUS YEARS EXPERIENCE AT DOUBLES CLUB.

Q: What's the first rule of HR Club?

A: WIPE YOUR FEET BEFORE ENTERING.

Q: So it's an actual club with a physical headquarters?

A: NO. COMMON FREAKING COURTESY.

Q: What's the second rule of HR Club?

A: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR/HIT HOME RUNS.

Q: That's two rules.

A: THERE ARE NO RULES.

Q: How do you know if someone belongs to HR Club so you can show him the proper respect?

A: HE OR SHE J/K HE WILL WEAR A BADGE WITH A PHOTO OF HIMSELF TAPED TO IT IN WHICH HE IS DISPLAYING HIS MASSIVE FOREARMS AND LOOKING OFF MENACINGLY INTO THE DISTANCE.

Q: Can't anyone make one of those?

A: IT WILL HAVE A SEAL. AND IT WILL BE RAFAEL PALMEIRO.

Q: Any perks to being a member of HR Club?

A: GET INTO ANY PARTICIPATING REAL CLUB LIKE KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS OR MISTY'S NIGHTCLUB OR WHATEVER FOR FREE; 15 PERCENT OFF AT KOHLS WHEN YOU USE YOUR KOHLS CARD.

Q: When was HR Club established?

A: DON'T HAVE TO WAIT AT LINE AT GREAT ADVENTURE ON TUESDAYS, IS ANOTHER PERK I FORGOT TO MENTION EARLIER.

Q: Does home run club have a motto?

A: "THIS AIN'T YOUR MOTHER'S HOME RUN CLUB" OR "GO BACK TO SLAP-HITTER'S CLUB" OR "PFFT" STILL WORKING ON IT.

Q: According to this card, Rafael Palmeiro hit 37 home runs in 1993 and is a member of HR Club. Is there anything else this card has to offer in the way of information?

A: NO.

Q: Thank you.

A: NOT A QUESTION.