Atomic Shortstop

Nomar Garciaparra, 2000 Upper Deck/Ionix

Hey, do you guys like science? ME TOO. Science and baseball go hand in hand because you can't play baseball without science, and you can't do science without baseball, maybe, whatever.

Take Nomar Garciaparra, for example. Think he has science in his body? Dude is ATOMIC. Atomic is defined by the Internet as "of or relating to an atom or atoms." Look at all the atoms in and around Nomar Garciaparra! When he swings the bat all of his atoms or molecules or whatever go crazy, swirling all around in what scientists describe as "swirly patterns."

All of those atoms are what enabled Nomar Garciaparra to hit .357 in 1999. I know - that was a lot of numbers. This can get confusing. How about a chart? Here is a science chart:

Notice how Nomar Garciaparra's batting average (left side) increased from 96 (abbreviation for "1996") to 99 (bottom). To what can we attribute this increase in batting average? Let's ask this scientician:

Scientician: Uhhh

More atoms. Nothing else except more atoms. Other baseball players who didn't have as many atoms were unable to hit the ball into fair territory without making an out as often as Nomar Garciaparra. But how do you get more atoms? Great question. By eating vegetables and working hard and having good chemistry (science) with your teammates and listening to instructions and having regular bowel movements.

If you're wondering how this card got so sciency, rest assured it was produced by "Ionix," the most science-sounding name in all of baseball cards. In fact, let's reference Ionix's "Periodic Chart of Players," which is a thing, I guess:

I am embarrassed to say that before I knew this was Ionix's Periodic Chart of Players, I looked online at the Periodic Table of Elements so I could find "Nr" and make fun of whatever metal or gas this card had associated with baseball player Nomar Garciparra. But when I couldn't find it I realized this was custom-made for Nomar Garciaparra, and I became so excited that my body was instantly surrounded by several swirly patterns of atomic joy. Then I passed out. Then I came to and, after hours of science, produced the following formula:

"N" = "N" in "Nomar"
"r" = "r" in "Nomar"
5 = Nomar Garciaparra's jersey number
.357 = Nomar Garciaparra's batting average

I realize it just got mad nerdy up in this joint, but hey, what can I tell you - I minored in science. Thanks everybody for dropping by for today's lesson. Next week we are going to build a homemade volcano with Phil Nevin and find out if Heathcliff Slocumb's bread ever got moldy. Keep it real, and don't forget to #dropscience.

Cardboard Fenway: 2003 Topps Heritage Nomar Garciaparra

Cardboard Fenway - #94. 2003 Topps Heritage Nomar Garciaparra (logo variation)

Man, Nomar was awesome. Remember when the debate was who was the better shortstop, Jeter, A-Rod, or Nomar? 'Tis a shame that his career with the Sox ended like it did.

The Tao of Fred McGriff - Day 10

Back in 2003, the popular rumor in Boston was that the Red Sox, White Sox, and Rangers were going to put together a three-team trade that would send Manny Ramirez to Texas, Nomar Garciaparra to Chicago, and Magglio Ordonez and Alex Rodriguez to Boston. Nobody knows for sure what would've happened had that trade gone through, but for a minute or two there I could see A-Rod and Ordonez in Sox uniforms.

There have been other players whom I thought would end up on the Sox one way or another (Todd Helton is at the top of that list), but one guy I never saw on the Red Sox was Fred McGriff. Maybe it's because I was raised on the Lou Gorman-led Sox ("What would we do with Willie McGee?"), but the Sox already had Mo Vaughn at first. What would we have done with Fred McGriff?

My grandfather grew up in a small town in South Dakota. His sisters were the switchboard operators for the town, and his father the postman and local semi-pro baseball team manager. He likes to tell the story of how, towards the end of one season, his father lured a star pitcher away from a rival team. And then, instead of pitching him in the big games that followed, kept him on the bench. When asked why he would do that, my grandfather laughs and says that his dad had the luxury of not using the star pitcher--as long as he wasn't pitching for the other team.

And when the A-Rod and Ordonez trades fell through, what did the Yankees do? Did they say "Why do we need A-Rod when we already have Derek Jeter?"

This is one of those little things that we with the Lou Gorman mindset never figure out: having Mo Vaughn at first and Fred McGriff, be it at DH or lounging on the bench, perhaps could've pushed the Sox closer to the pennant. Instead we defensively scoff at even considering the possibility.