October 31, 2012

Plucking Out Redundant Redundancies

Gary Wayne, 1991 Score

Gary Wayne. Pitcher. Twins. That's all I know so far. Let's find out more.

Gary, a happy-go-lucky southpaw (if that isn't redundancy),

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Honestly, what does that mean? All southpaws are happy-go-lucky, so it should go without saying? If so, a) that is a terrible stereotype -- oh, just because I'm left-handed (not me personally, thank God, weirdos) I don't have fears and anxieties like everyone else? -- and also b) nobody told this guy. I just ... I just don't know what this is supposed to mean.

gave the Twins strong middle relief after they plucked him out of the Montreal system

Confession: I hate the word "plucked" when used to describe obtaining the services of a human baseball player. Nevertheless.

Minnesota GM: We're looking for a happy-go-lucky southpaw.

Montreal GM: Aren't they all? Ha, ha, ha!

Minnesota GM: HAHAHAHAHA seriously though.

Montreal GM: We got a few middle reliever types in the system, but don't y'all go plucking from us!

Minnesota GM: Well, I mean ... that's the whole point of this conversation, no? I'll trade you Johnson, our 26-year-old no hit, all defense shortstop for ... shuffling through papers ... Gary Wayne.

Montreal GM: You dirty mother plucker ...

Minnesota GM: So ... does that mean it's a deal?

It was a chancy gamble

IF THAT ISN'T REDUNDANCY. Here is a baseball card that uses the parenthetical phrase "if that isn't redundancy" in a context that makes zero sense, and then in the very next sentence actually uses a redundant phrase without even, apparently, realizing it. If baseball cards were valued on ironic misuses of the word redundancy rather than the talent of the player featured, this card would be worth $700,000. CHANCY GAMBLE?

CHANCY GAMBLE? Am I the only one amazed by this? Sometimes I think I overanalyze the backs of my old baseball cards.

Anyway, let us discover why plucking Gary Wayne was a chancy gamble.

since he had suffered a stress fracture of his right foot three times in seventh months

Montreal GM: Before we sign on the dotted line here, I feel I should mention that Gary Wayne has had three right foot fractures in the past seven months.

Minnesota GM: That is ... weird. Does he have a right foot fracture problem?

Montreal GM: I'm sure it's just a coincidence. He's really happy-go-lucky.

Minnesota GM: Well, I didn't get into this line of work not to take chancy gambles.

Montreal GM: We're a dying breed, us two.


Josh D. said...

As the Little Rascals said, "The two of us will both be singing a duet, together."

mkenny59 said...

There's like, a lot of redundancies in there ... nice work, Josh! And thanks for the comment ...