July 18, 2012

Super Veteran

Look up on the mound!

Is it a bird?

Is it a plane?

Is it a regular man with minimal major league experience?


It's ...


Jim Palmer, 1983 Topps

Super Veteran can throw baseballs at alarming speeds and with extreme accuracy, for a veteran!

Super Veteran is handsome with piercing blue eyes! What did you expect, someone who is ugzz? Please.

Super Veteran has never given up a grand slam! Not even to his arch-nemesis, Grand Slam Man!

Super Veteran also goes by the name "Cakes."

Super Veteran was around in 1965 AND ALSO 1983!!! Said his arch-nemesis, Grand Slam Man: "Why. Won't. He. DIE!?"

Super Veteran thinks we should all collectively "Strike Out High Cholesterol." I say we listen to him!

Super Veteran has won World Series games during three different decades! That has only happened never times before! Take THAT, regular ol' war veterans!

According to super resource, SuperPedia, Super Veteran attempted to become Super-Duper Veteran in 1991. It did not go well. Super anecdote: While working out at the University of Miami during his comeback attempt, {Super Veteran} was approached by Hurricanes assistant coach Lazaro Collazo. Collazo, presumably not recognizing {Super Veteran}, reportedly told him, "You'll never get into the Hall of Fame with those mechanics." "I'm already in the Hall of Fame," {Super Veteran} replied.

That story makes no sense!

Lazaro Collazo is a super-villian who discourages 46-year old men from their dreams! He didn't recognize Super Veteran because Super Veteran was INCOGNITO on a crime-fighting mission to rid the world of ageism! He was pitching underhanded like a granny! FOILED AGAIN, LAZARO COLLAZO!

Before he became Super Veteran, Super Veteran was a young man. BELIEVE IT!

Super Veteran now announces games for his former team, the Orioles of Baltimore City. He is super disappointed!

You can't just go out and get a super veteran!

He must be BORN a Super Veteran, on planet Baseball, and then fly to Earth when his planet is destroyed by a meteor or whatever!

One time Grand Slam Man tried to rob The Money Store, but Super Veteran wasn't having it!


"You are NOT approved for a home equity loan today, Grand Slam Man! Take him away, boys!"


troy said...

I am disappointed you are using this forum to celebrate an obvious substance abuser, even if steroids were legal back then. The change from black-and-white eyes to blue eyes between the two photos makes it clear just how this guy got so good.

mkenny59 said...

The way I figure it, that first picture was taken on his original planet, where there is, unfortunately, no color. OR, I mean, it's tough to become Super Veteran without at least a little help, ya' know? I can't judge.

troy said...

Both are good.