Ball So Hard

Tom Brookens, 1989 Donruss 
NOTE: Don't ask me about the stain because I don't know

TOM BROOKENS

WATCH THE THRONE

"BALL SO HARD ****** ******* WANNA FINE ME"









LET'S CHECK THE HIGHLIGHTS Y'ALL

Idled during '84 pennant stretch for Tigers due to pulled hamstring...

= HIGHLIGHT

"BALL SO HARD OOPS THERE GO MY HAMSTRING
BUT I AIN'T HAMSTRUNG
GONNA CHEER 'COP THAT RING'
ON THE BENCH CHECKIN' MY SAMSUNG"






Missed a month of '81 season with ankle and hamstring injuries...

= HIGHLIGHT

Started triple play and went 5-for-5 in same game 8/20/80 vs. Brewers...

MORE LIKE LOWLIGHT AMIRIGHT

THIS IS PLAYED OUT, IMMA HOLLA AT WIKIPEDIA

Tigers radio announcer Ernie Harwell nicknamed Brookens "the Pennsylvania Poker", a play on the song "Pennsylvania Polka."

HIDE YOUR KIDS, HIDE YOUR WIFE, THE PENNSYLVANIA POKER'S COMIN' TO TOWN

"POKE SO MANY BALLS ****** ******* WANNA FINE ME"









HOW GOOD WAS TOM BROOKENS AT POKING BALLS?

He did lead American League (AL) third basemen in errors twice, in 1980 and 1985, but that was largely because he was getting to so many more grounders than other fielders;

"LED LEAGUE IN ERRORS TWICE, SON
IF YOU WANNA GET STATISTICAL
FOR REAL 'IT AIN'T MY FAULT' THO
SHOUT OUT TO HOMIE MYSTIKAL






Brookens also has the dubious honor of sharing (with 21 others) the AL record for the most errors in a game by a third baseman, four, on September 6, 1980.

OKAY I GET IT HE WAS GOOD AT POKING BALLS.

Brookens' twin brother Tim was also drafted in 1975 by the Texas Rangers; he was later traded to the Tigers organization, but never made the majors. In spring training, Tim and Tom would sometimes switch identities, even suiting up in each other's uniforms;

"THAT SH*T CRAY, AIN'T IT, TOM?"

"BALL SO HARD"

"WHAT SHE ORDER, FISH FILET"

"BALL SO HARD"

"DON'T LET ME INTO MY ZONE"

"I'M DEFINITELY IN MY ZONE"

The Wrong Kind of Star: Quirks in 2014 Topps Heritage

2014 Topps Heritage Mini - Zack Greinke

If you're collecting Topps Heritage this year, here's something you may not have realized. Just like in the sport it depicts, there are varying degrees of star popularity within the set. Here's what I mean. There are 13 different non-relic/non-autograph cards of superstar Mike Trout in the set. There are nine cards of Zack Greinke. By comparison, there are seven different cards of Alfonso Soriano. And just one card of guys like Mark Teixeira, Tim Lincecum, and Alex Rodriguez. And others, too. Paul Konerko has only one card. Matt Holliday and Shin-Soo Choo? One card each. Same for Jose Altuve, Anibal Sanchez, Josh Donaldson, and David Price.

Asking why there need to be so many different parallels and inserts for a set like Heritage is a question with no good answer. Instead, here are the different versions of non-relic/non-autograph cards:

1. Base card (500 cards)
2. Chrome (100 cards)
3. Chrome Refractor (same 100 cards as Chrome set)
4. Black Chrome Refractor (same 100 cards as Chrome set)
5. Gold Chrome Refractor (same 100 cards as Chrome set)
6. Purple Chrome Refractor (same 100 cards as Chrome set)
7. Walmart-exclusive Blue Border (25 subjects)
8. Target-exclusive Red Border (25 subjects)
9. Retail-exclusive Black Border (same 100 cards as Chrome set)
10. New Age Performers (20 subjects)
11. Base Action variation (25 subjects)
12. Base Logo variation (25 subjects)
13. Base Uniform variation (25 subjects)
14. Mini (100 subjects)
(I'm not counting the Black Back version of the base set, as every card on the base-set checklist is included.)

Some cards are easier to find than others. For instance, base-set SPs are seeded around one per three packs, while Mini cards show up one per case. And only some players are in some of the insert sets. For example, there are three cards in the Chrome sets that do not appear in the Mini set—Alfonso Soriano, Xander Bogaerts/Jonathan Schoop, and Nick Castellanos/Billy Hamilton. They are replaced in the Mini set by Jason Grilli, Austin Jackson, and Derek Holland.

So what gives with all this? Why are some players included in nearly every insert and parallel set, and others not represented anywhere? Well, Teixeira's been hurt. A-Rod's a pariah, banished for the season. And Lincecum has been mired in middle relief, a star in name only. But for the others—like the new-to-the-national-spotlight guys like Altuve and Donaldson—there are no good reasons for their exclusion. It's just a quirk of this year's set, one that will probably be corrected in 2015's edition.