January 08, 2014

You Lose All, You Win All


Zero chances. Impossible. No way. I mean 0-6? That is the worst thing I have ever heard. Gritless. Gutless performance. Fire him from the minors. Actually KILL HIM. No coming back from that. Stick a fork in 'em. Done. Chances at major league stardom? PFFTT. Get a clue, jerkwad. Lose minor league games much? Yes, is the answer. Wasn't a rhetorical question, idiot. You're the worst person.

Ordinarily, nil.

Always, nil. A scenario does not exist where the answer is not "nil," so your "ordinarily" is sugar-coating. End of discussion. Let's talk about something else. I am tired of talking about terrible pitchers who are dumb and stupid.

But Chris, who did that in the Triple-A American Association in '90, isn't an ordinary pitcher.

Why, does he pitch from his butt instead of his hand? What does this mean? What am I even reading right now? Who is Chris?


Oh. 'Sup.

A tall, lean southpaw with an outstanding curveball,

That is extremely NOT ordinary - some would even say extraordinary. Tall AND lean? I am beginning to reconsider my notion that a pitcher could go 0-6 in the minors and still attain major league stardom. If anyone could do it, Chris could. Prolly not though, still.

he had started the season, only his second in pro ball at Double-A Jacksonville and was promoted to Indianapolis in mid-June.

Don't even tell me he went 0-6 there.

Despite going winless in the AA

If you replace "the" with another "A" and move it next to the other "A"s, then what you've said is accurate and normal. Also, did he die after that happened? I would die of embarrassment.

Chris was brought up to the Expos in mid-August to replace the traded Zane Smith in the starting rotation.

"Yo, we traded the fart face guy. So uh, I dunno ... let's bring up the dude who literally cannot win in the minors. I think it will be good and ensure the stability and location of our franchise." - Expos dudes

Did he ever!

Calm down. Just tell me what happened.

Chris won his first five decisions, giving up only 19 hits in 30 IP. He went 6-0 when he pitched his first major league CG and shutout, beating the Mets

LOL Mets

2-0 on a brilliant one-hitter.

This is cray. It's almost as if the fact that he struck out 44 and walked ONE in AAA was more important than the fact he went 0-6, and that he pitched pretty much the same as he always did - well - when he reached the bigs and had success because wins are stupid and gross.

Who needs to win big in the minors anyway?

Ha, great rhetorical question to end this amazing storybook story of a story! Nobody, silly! Well, at least not Chris Nabholz! Ha, ha! Man, the Mets suck.

 Chris Nabholz, 1991 Score

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