July 10, 2013

Thumbs Up

Shawn Green, 1994 Topps Stadium Club

The world was set on fire with passion and lust for baseball when Shawn Green made his major league debut with the Toronto Blue Jays ... oh darn I can't remember the exact date PSYCHE September 28, 1993. Like you, I commemorated the occasion with newspaper clippings, words printed on wooden panels and my home label-maker.

There is A LOT going on here on the back of this card, which is apropos because there is a lot to talk about re: Shawn Green. For example, I heard he is cannon-armed. Is he cannon-armed?

COOL! I'd like to find out more about his cannon arm, like anecdotes about him nailing would be run-scorers with his cannon arm ...

Hit .283 4 HR for Knoxville (AA) in 1993...

Ha, ha, go get 'em, cannon arm!

Limited to 99 games by broken right thumb...

OH NO! The thumb is an integral part of any cannon arm. This is disconcerting, but I am comforted by the fact that Shawn Green has two thumbs.

Broke his left thumb in 1992...

I am learning so much about Shawn Green's thumbs. More than I ever could have imagined. This baseball card has truly provided an accurate and detailed history of Shawn Green's thumbs. Sometimes when a person is clumsy we say he is "all thumbs." Sometimes when a person is good at planting crap we say he has "a green thumb." And sometimes when we talk about baseball player Shawn Green we say that he broke all his Green thumbs.

So anyway, we've talked a lot about Shawn Green's cannon arm and also his thumbs ... I am exhausted from that! Still, maybe we should discuss his hitting statistics? There is a buttload of letters and numbers on the back of this card, so possibly there is something I can reference pertaining to Shawn Green's ability to hit. Maybe a chart detailing his HITS as compared to BATTERS, if that makes sense, which it doesn't.

Wow, this has been great. Listen, I know I've asked many questions today about Shawn Green, but I only have one more. Promise. Are you ready? Here it is. Here is my question: Where does Shawn Green's ability to run around rank on the Topps Skills Rating System?

Whoa, 7.1 in running is in the upper echelon of running, if you ask me. Imagine where he'd rank with two healthy thumbs ... 7.2? 7.3? 7.7? Hey, let's not get crazy here. Still though, who knows ...

Well, we have a lot to digest here. So what I recommend is to sleep on it, and we'll come back here tomorrow and talk more about Shawn Green with rested thumbs and a clearer head, okay?


Actually let's not. I am done.

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