June 29, 2006

One Set to Rule Them All: #1 – 1987 Topps

If you had asked me a week ago which set would end up on top, I would not have known what to tell you. I had four potential Number One contenders (see sets two through four for the others), and if you thought ’87 Topps was a clear-cut choice for the top spot, I would've said that you’d be doing a disservice to the competition. So how did it end up here, and not at number 2, 3, 4? My approach to this set changed. When I talked with my friends or got an email from a reader or fellow collector, everything seemed to revolve around this set. Simply put, it was the set that launched a million collections, the set that made little kids care about baseball and little league, and it was the first set that I could afford that Beckett proclaimed would make me very, very rich as long as I held onto those $5 Will Clarks and Mike Greenwells.

This set had more iconic cards than all of the 1986 sets combined, more than the other two 1987 sets combined, and more than all of the 1988 sets combined. I’ve already touched upon the tremendous, league-defining rookie class from 1986-7, but I think I’m not alone when I say that nobody cared if you got a Fleer Ruben Sierra or Bobby Bonilla, but it was everybody’s business when you pulled one of these guys out of your pack of Topps. Hell, even the commons were iconic. Guys like Jeff Reed on the Twins, Steve Crawford on the Red Sox, Luis Quinones on the Giants, Rob Wilfong on the Angels and the electric green of Donnie Hill on the A’s. And speaking of green, how about those flippin’ sweet green packs? When I was 8 I could spot packs of ’87 Topps at 300 yards, thanks to my superpowerful coke bottle glasses (that’s not a joke; those lenses were painfully thick) and my 1987 Topps radar set to ‘Green’ (I wanted to coin a new term just now for ‘baseball card radar’, but all I could think of was ‘cardadar’, and it sounded too much like a seldom-used Spanish verb).

Personally, this set was always my second personal favorite, after 1986 Topps. I’ve always felt 1986 had the better design, because when it came out I thought that the wood grain seemed a little cheap, like a wood-paneled basement (which always seemed cool until the day your Dad had it installed and you realized you couldn’t get a good return bounce from that pink rubber ball you used to bounce against the cement basement wall). But for the purpose of the countdown, personal favorites weren’t a deciding factor in terms of rank. 1986 Topps never had the strongest checklist. 1987 Topps had one of the strongest—if not the strongest—of the decade.

You know, it’s funny. Look at the other sets that feature some kind of border designed to emulate items in the home: 1955 Bowman (the color TV set series), 1962 Topps (the original wood-grain) and 1968 Topps (I always thought the border was supposed to look like a TV set, or at least mimic the cloth screen cover of a hi-fi stereo speaker). All three are among the most memorable sets in their respective decades, so certainly the wood-grain of ’87 was no design fluke (1987 was also the 25th anniversary of the 1962 set).

But the really cool thing about this set is that it’s the pinnacle of baseball cards. Not just the 1980s, but the whole damned history, from the 1880s to today. This set is the bona fide Everest summit of cards: every set leading up to this one was building towards it: the strongest checklist with the most rookies featured in the most different kind of ways, with great All-Stars (including a fat Keith Hernandez and Dave Parker with his warm-up jacket on), inspiring Record Breakers (that Clemens RB, card no. 1, no less made me want to break records, too (something we may yet accomplish at The Baseball Card Blog…)), semi-lame-semi-awesome Turn Back the Clocks, plus cards of Pete Incaviglia, a thoughtful John Kruk, Dave Righetti with his eyes closed again, those scripty Manager cards, Future Stars of guys you knew even at 8 years old would never pan out, Frank Tanana with his mouth closed, seventeen cards per pack!, getting Team Leaders cards of lousy teams with no real leaders (hello Seattle Mariners), Jorge Orta: living member of the Mexican Baseball Hall of Fame, Terry Kennedy bitching out an unseen Padre, Frank DiPino’s wicked bizarre lips, Todd Worrell flying a kite and guys with names like Cliff Speck and Rod Scurry, guys who look like Otis Nixon and Oil Can Boyd, and finally, Gary Redus’ card where he reveals his kids are named Lakesha, Manesha and Nakosha. Sure, every set had fun stuff like this, but this set had 792 cards like this. It is the set every other set should be measured against before it can take a place in the pantheon of baseball card sets. It even gives Mike Schmidt a hard-on. Tell me, what more do you want?

For a long time, this set was my get-rich-quick scheme. I thought I would ride that wave of McGwires and Clarks and Cansecos and Bonillas and Bondses and Greenwells and Larkins all the way to college, and that once I made it to college I would be able to afford a big house and a nice car and all the junk food I could ever hope to eat. And while I still have that fantasy from time to time, I know that it’s only just that: not a reality I so convincingly believed would happen. And you know, the more I think about it, what I really would’ve done if I had sold my cards would’ve been to buy more cards. So if you want to think about it differently, a little more menacingly, this set catapulted a million ‘occasional buyers’ to ‘hard-core regular buyers,’ kids who would normally save their allowance for a car you built out of a box would all of a sudden uncontrollably spend their life savings at CVS or some other drugstore, in the process cleaning out whatever packs the store had laying around. Ah, the good old days. That takes me back.

And while those days have subsided, this set still has meaning, though one that’s metamorphosed over the years. Like a great book or movie, I read it differently today. No longer am I concerned with what cards from this set are worth: it’s become my guilty pleasure, the set I can buy a box of for the same price as when it came out (only now I can afford it). It’s the set I have just about twenty times over but still want to put together another. The set that creeps into my thoughts nearly every day, though I oftentimes don’t consciously understand the connection between it and the world around me. I could go on and on for days about this, but a set this good doesn’t need a dissection. All it needs are three cheers and to be set off into the night, to be shared by all.


Look for answers to reader mail sometime over the weekend.

June 27, 2006

Best Set Countdown: #2 – 1985 Topps

This set is just about the greatest thing that could’ve happened to Topps. Especially after the fiasco of 1984. Think about it: you’re number one and you’ve been number one for nearly thirty years (since you bought out Bowman in 1955), and then all of a sudden, in a span of two or three years you lose your monopoly, you mail it in for a couple sets, and you lose your top spot because you fail to accurately read the competition. And then it turns out that the competition is fierce. Those other companies aren’t interested in paying homage to all the hard work you’ve done, they’re interested in showing you the door. So what do you do? Do you lie down and take it like you did in 1984 (despite one of your better designs of the decade)? Or do you roll up your sleeves and rethink your strategy, examine your roots and see just what worked before you decided to forgo a stellar product and half-ass it through the late 1970s?

Luckily for collectors everywhere, Topps rolled up their sleeves. And while I have no idea what they actually did behind closed doors, it sure as hell seems like they addressed every set from 1975 onward (and all the Fleer and Donruss entries as well) and just picked them apart. They separated the strong subsets like All Stars and Record Breakers from weaker ones like In Action and Super Veterans. They took into account how rookie-driven Fleer and Donruss had become as those two companies tried to differentiate themselves as forward-thinking (rookies were the driving factor in the 1984 Update set and 1984 Donruss), compared with the Topps institution (I can’t think of a better synonym for ‘old’).

So then, with sleeves up, Topps decided that if they could no longer beat the competition, they could at least join them in the rookie bonanza. And while they didn’t resurrect their rookie cup (that wouldn’t happen until 1987), they did unveil two awesome subsets: #1 Draft Picks and Team USA. #1 Draft Picks actually only featured three rookies out of the twelve guys in the subset, and most of the guys featured were kind of C- and D-List stars (like Jeff Burroughs and Floyd Bannister), but that’s not the point. And for the record, this subset also featured Harold Baines, Bob Horner, Shawon Dunston and Darryl Strawberry. The real point of this subset was that it gave Topps one more way the other companies hadn’t thought of in recognizing merit in players and denoting rookies (though it wouldn’t be until 1989 that Topps would make the previous year’s first-round draft picks a yearly set cornerstone (and even later for other companies)).

And if we can rightly anoint the #1 Draft Picks subset ‘awesome’, the Team USA subset is right up there with the Rated Rookie as ‘hobby-defining’. Or maybe even more than ‘hobby-defining’; maybe a more accurate term is ‘set-and-company-saving’. Think about it: let’s say you’re Topps (lots of role-playing today) and you get invited over to Mr. Donruss’ house for what you think will be a few hands of friendly poker. To start off the night, you’re dealt a rickey and a gibby and a baines and a Fernando and a Mookie, though somehow Fleer’s got two rickeys and he wins. You chalk it up to beginner’s luck. Then you cruise in the next hand when you’re dealt two Ripkens to everyone else’s one. Then you narrowly beat out the other guys when it turns out you have a Strawberry and the other two guys don’t know what a Strawberry is. So you’re up, winning two out of three (and you were probably robbed in the first hand). Then you take a break, you get up to use the can and when you get back, Fleer and Donruss are sharing a joke. Then Donruss asks if you’d ‘Like to make it a little more interesting’. All night you’ve had this guy eating out of the palm of your hand, so you say sure, what the hell; you’ll mop the floor with him. Bets are placed and you draw a weak hand, though you’ve got a Mattingly in the hole. The pot gets bigger, everybody’s making bluffs and going higher and you think you got them right where you want them—you got a plan on how you’ll pull this one out. So Donruss calls and he’s got a Mattingly (just like you). Shit. And he’s got some other guys you didn’t know about, including McReynolds and Joe Carter and a pair of Fernandezezez. That’s when you reveal you’ve got a pair of aces: Gooden and Saberhagen, not to mention a Mattingly. You know you’ve got Donruss beat and now you think Fleer won’t stand a chance against this hand. Unfortunately for you, not only does Fleer have the Mattingly and the Gooden (your one-two punch), but they can out-do Donruss with a second one-two of Clemens and Puckett. Yikes. Well, now you’re down and out and might as well get out of the business with your legacy intact.

But that’s not what Topps does. They reevaluate their moves across the evening, er, last five years, and realize that the competition is finding success with rookies (something that Topps practically invented). So Topps finds a way to get more rookies back into the mix. And, learning from the embarrassing experience of not featuring a rookie the other guys had, they brought in rookies of guys the competition wouldn’t have for at least a year, and in the case of mega-rookie Mark McGwire—two years (nearly a lifetime in baseball card manufacturing and collecting).

Let’s look at the genius that is Team USA. Besides the McGwire it’s got Billy Swift, Cory Snyder, Oddibe McDowell, Shane Mack, Scott Bankhead and Mike Dunne. It’s got a great manager card of USC’s Rod Dedeaux, plus a few others of guys who didn’t pan out (like Gary Green). Of course, like the Donruss Rated Rookie class of 1987, if we were to go back in time and put together our own Team USA subset, we probably would take out Pat Pacillo, Green and maybe Bankhead (who had a decent major league career) and replace them with Bobby Witt, Barry Larkin and Will Clark, three of the eight team members not represented. Can you imagine if those guys had been in this set? They would make it hands down the best of the decade. Anyway, this is a great subset. And more importantly, it was exactly what Topps needed to stay relevant.

Of course, if this set had had just the Team USA and #1 Draft Picks subsets and the 1988 checklist, it would be a middle-ranked set. But it doesn’t. It has one of the strongest (if concentrated) rookie classes of the decade.

When you look at who’s in a rookie class any given year, the players’ positions usually favor hitters or pitchers; rarely is it perfectly balanced. 1981-84, 1986 and 1987 were hitters’ years. 1985 and 1989 were pitchers’ years. I would say that only in 1988 was there a balance. Look at the lineup of rookie pitchers in 1985 Topps: Mark Langston, Jimmy Key, Dwight Gooden, Bret Saberhagen, Roger Clemens, Orel Hershiser. Between them they pitched 10 seasons with 20 or more wins, and combined they have 1,271 career wins (and counting). And they all had their regular-issue rookies in the same set. That’s amazing. Of course this set also features the rookie of Kirby Puckett, but, and not to discount Puckett in any way, this set was never about the rookie hitter. These pitchers had pop right out of the gate. Gooden was on fire, Clemens not far behind and the other four would be superstars in their own right in less than two or three years.

Other neat things about this set:

It had strong All-Star lineups. I can’t stress the importance of this enough. Sure, they may have mirrored the previous season’s actual All-Star starting lineups, but that doesn’t lessen the anger of receiving a Damaso Garcia All-Star card (unless you’re a Blue Jay fan, I suppose. But then again, if you were a Blue Jay fan and you were buying Topps, there was probably something wrong; you should’ve been buying O-Pee-Chee, where they seeded Blue Jays and Expos more frequently).

The great Topps numbering system. I love it that Eddie Murray is #700 and his All-Star card is #701. That had to have been on purpose. That’s not one but two times you get to see his awesome mustache/beardburns. And really, #700 is one of the best Murray cards of the decade. Would you want to interview someone with beardburns as menacing as this?

A ridiculous amount of Record Breakers. There are ten of them. In previous sets when there was a lot of stuff going on, Topps would consolidate (like the retirement Highlights card from the 1984 set). But not here. There is absolutely no need for ten Record Breakers, even if ten records were broken. I, for one, do not care how much sushi Cliff Johnson ate while he was in Japan, nor do I care about anything that has to do with Juan Samuel. I’m not being anti-Phillies about that, I just don’t think any set needs ten Record Breakers. It almost reeks of desperation, like Topps found out Donruss and Fleer were staying in the same hotel and awkwardly confronted them in the parking lot or lobby: ‘You can’t tell us what this hobby’s about! We’re Topps! We fucking made this hobby!’ This of course would be followed by a series of half-hearted punches and a mumbled string of ‘We made this hobby!...we made this hobby…’ Then Topps would collapse and blubber until Monsieur O-Pee-Chee would pick him up and help him back into the elevator or curbside handsome cab. Moral of the story: sets should never have more than seven Record Breakers.

I’ve always wished that I had started collecting in 1985, instead of ’86, and I’ve never bought a pack until I knew I was going to do this countdown. So, like Marvin Gaye’s awkward moment when he forced his audience to recognize his parents at his Kennedy Center concert, I would like you to help me recognize this very special moment in my pack-opening history.

Thank you. Now I’m ready.

First thoughts: right on the front cover it has the tag line the Real one!, like they wanted to incite fear into the minds of little kids that those Fleer and Donruss cards weren’t ‘real’. This is some heavy shit.

…I already know I got a Dan Quisenberry All-Star and an Orel Hershisher with a gigantic old-as-time gum stain on the back, which is actually quite aesthetically pleasing…

Rufino Linares This is going to be a great pack, I can feel it. How can you get a guy named Rufino and it turn out to be a bad pack? It’s just not gonna happen.
Bill Almon, 1974 #1 Draft Pick Well, at least I didn’t get Shawn Abner.
Mark Clear I think he came over in the Carney Lansford ‘We Hardly Knew Ye’ trade with the Angels, right?
Jim Gott Well, not every card’s going to be good. It was silly and unrealistic of me to think so.
Pete Falcone Something’s a little suspicious here…I’ve already gotten two Braves and I’ve got 10 cards to go…hmmm…
John Rabb That’s another guy who’d be allowed past the green glass door.
Yogi Berra/Dale Berra Father Son This is great, really the only card out of this subset that you’d ever want anyway, except maybe the Steve and Dizzy Trout card. But really, nothing beats the back of the card, where it lists most of Yogi’s major achievements and can’t even come up with one neat thing to say about Dale.
Dan Quisenberry All-Star I always loved this guy and his ridiculous submarine delivery.
Bryan Little…and they would allow cherries, but not bananas; trees but not plants…
Bob Clark You could not have a more non-descript name than Bob Clark. It’s also fitting that he plays for the Brewers.
Brian Dayett …bumblebees but not wasps…baboons and balloons…
Jeff Leonard One of the greatest lines of Mel Brooks’ original film of The Producers happens when Zero Mostel’s Max Bialystock is standing by his office window and, upon seeing a white Rolls limo pull up across the street, yells ‘When you got it, flaunt it, baby! Flaunt it!’ He, of course, is on skid row (with his cardboard belt). So this is relevant because Jeff Leonard was an All Star in 1984 (and the game was played in San Francisco), so he got an All-Star card in the 1985 set. So what I’m trying to say is that Leonard should be pimped out in furs and diamonds on this card, his fingers blinding the camera with studded rings and he should be shown using an elephant tusk shoehorn to help him into his bedazzled loafers. Not much to ask for, if you ask me.
Chris Bando Man, what is with me and getting Chris Bando in a pack?
Bob Horner Horner’s looking kind of fat, and he’s the third Brave I’ve gotten in one pack. That’s some bullshit right there.
Orel Hershiser The one thing I remember about Hershiser more than any of his other accomplishments is the Head and Shoulders ad he did where he proclaimed that he washed his hair ‘Four or Five times a day’. Who in their right mind would do such a thing?


So here’s to you, 1985 Topps. You’re a helluva set.
I wish I had started collecting sooner.

June 23, 2006

Best Set Countdown: #3 – 1984 Donruss

How many sets can seriously lay claim to being a ‘standard bearer’? Seriously, can you name me five or six sets more monumental than this one? If we’re talking about the Eighties, I can only think of a couple, and none of them came out before this. This set was the biggest thing to happen to baseball cards since Topps lost the backroom poker game in 1981 to those two mangy upstarts, Fleer and Donruss.

So why is it that this set is so great? Sure, it’s got a hell of a design, both front and back (that turquoise makes me feel like the world’s gonna be alright), and it’s got the strongest checklist of any of the regular issue 1984 sets, but what makes the cards in this set worth so goddamn much? This set came out just before the height of collecting in the late Eighties, so we can’t put the value up to the Landfill Theory. Can it be that it was ’86 Donruss Redux (or is it Pre-Dux?), and little kids psyched themselves out trying to go for the Mattingly and so never actually purchased any of the cards? Or do we have Mr. Mint to thank for a tightly controlled supply? So many theories…I guess because I don’t really know what the deal was, I’m going with ’86 Predux because I know that that’s what I would’ve done if I had been old enough to make pack-buying decisions in 1984: pined away, chickened out and bought Topps.

In a minute I’ll get more into the out-of-focus, Impressionistic backgrounds that elevated many of the photos into instant classic status, but first I want to make a rather bold statement. While it didn’t recognize itself as such, this set was the first premium set ever made. I know, I know, it’s quite bold of me to suggest, but hear me out. I don’t think you could name me an earlier example of a premium set because the hobby didn’t call for one.

When I think of the term ‘premium set’, I tend to think of it as strictly post-Upper Deck, with examples like 1993 Topps Finest, 1990 Leaf, 1991 Topps Stadium Club, 1992 Bowman, 1994 Flair and so on. There were premium sets made in the 1980s, (1987 Fleer comes to mind, as do the string of Topps Tiffany sets) but because there was no prerequisite history, I would say it took collectors a while to recognize sets as such.

By 1984 the competition among the three sets had reached a fevered pitch, so much so that even the slightest screwup could hurt a company’s standing (see Topps Traded, 1984). Basic sets and building basic sets were still very much the core of the hobby, so when Donruss inserted extra cards with special numbering (the Living Legends cards), it threw the whole set-building universe into a ‘completist’ mania of epic proportions. Of course, I’m being really over-dramatic, and there are other things that make this set awesome, but the crux of my argument rests on these two ‘insert’ cards.

And the funny thing is, I can’t stand insert cards, but somehow I like these. I guess this stance is true for all inserts put out in sets from 1984 to 1991 (after 1991 things got really out of hand).


So what makes a set a ‘premium’ set? A whole handful of things: I think first you need stellar photography (check). Add a fantastic design (check), the unveiling of some sort of new technology (hello insert cards) plus equal parts desirability, flawless checklist and nice card stock (check, check and check). Here are a few illustrated examples of these points and others:

The strongest checklist of the early Eighties, and by far the strongest of the year. And here’s the kicker: it wasn’t hard for Donruss to accomplish this, thanks to Diamond Kings and the first year of the Rated Rookie as a subset with front-of-card denotation. Look at who they got their DK on: Yount, Boggs, Murray, Schmidt, Guerrero, Le Grand Orange, Bruce Sutter and a handful of others. The success rate is 50%, plus all those error cards (not one but two chances to get a Matt Young Diamond King! Yikes!). As for the Rated Rookies, Mike Fuentes was in some pretty good company: Carter, Darling, Sid ‘Ask Me Why I Put 50 On The Back Of My Uniform And I’ll Tell You An Awfully Long Story About Hawaii’ Fernandez, Tony Fernandez and Kevin McReynolds. That’s a pretty great Rated Rookie class to launch a set with. Then Donruss did a funny thing that they never really did up until that point: they put most of their star cards all in a clump at the beginning of the set. So it’s kind of a bummer when you get a good long stretch of crap cards (see #428 to #503 for example) right in the middle there, but it’s interesting too, because it’s like someone at Donruss saw just how strong the first fifty cards were and got the idea to ride the wave to 100 or so, then found out at card 70 that they didn’t have enough stars and sort of just stopped it mid-stream. Plus, it started another instance of Donruss being spectacularly lazy, just like they were in 1983 when they made minor changes to their 1982 design: if you look at the star clump at the beginning of the 1984 set and the one at the start of the 1985 set, it’s almost the same checklist.

• The inserts had value. Really, how could they not? Also, can you name the next premium set to get away with insert cards? I think you may have to go all the way to 1993’s Topps Finest Refractors (more on Finest in a minute), because after 1989 I don’t think you can count Upper Deck as a premium set.

• The rest of the set had value too. If you’ve followed card prices obsessively from when you were a kid until now, you know that this is one of the few sets that has retained its value over the years. Sure, the Joe Carter isn’t worth $60 anymore, but that’s not the point. The point is that cards of stars like Murray, Ozzie Smith, Robin Yount, these guys would cost you maybe $0.75 to $1.25 in near mint condition in any other set put out before 1986, but in this set their cards regularly list for $5.00 and above. Cards like Rose, Ryan, Ripken and Gwynn follow suit, ranging anywhere from $10 to $25 apiece. Naturally, the prize of the set—the Mattingly rookie—is still top dog, usually somewhere around $40, making it only one of a handful of cards worth nearly as much today as when it debuted. Does this surprise anybody besides me? The next set where this is true (and the cards have retained their value) is the Topps Finest set from 1993. Seriously, nearly every major rookie from the Eighties has gone through a meteoric rise and crash (and in some cases rise again), but there are very few cases of a value holding firm for over 20 years. I mean, that’s crazy. That’s like some set from the Sixties. It’s astonishing.

• The card photos are some of the best of the decade. Look at these two of Lee Smith and Jack Morris. Really great lighting on Smith, and a nice play of shadow on the Morris. Or the one of Ron Kittle—sure he’s got bad, razor-edge teeth that are a little on the grey side (the tell-tale sign of bulimia, right? I heard La Russa was tough, but jeez…), but check out the reflection of the photographer in his aviation-style glasses…actually, ‘aviation-style’ is too cool a term for Kittle, so let’s call them ‘IBM-style’…the photo is just that crisp. In fact, I would go so far as to say that this set is a lesson in the art of the crisp headshot (even Dave Kingman looks like a real human being, though they couldn’t make Scotty Garrelts look like a young rookie on his rookie card). But the real masterpieces of this set are the action shots. And not even really the action in the action shots—the real hero is the ubiquitous out-of-focus background. Look at this one of a spry Robin Yount. It’s really not an action shot, as there’s not so much ‘action’ as there is ‘anticipation of action’, which, like unrequited sexual tension, is much more electric. Apparently nobody ever told Mr. Donruss baseball cards are the antithesis of sexy.

In keeping with the trend, let’s open a pack.

Benny Ayala God, check out that background. Ayala kind of looks like Larry Sheets, which is kind of weird, as his career offensive numbers resemble one year of Sheets biggest numbers.
Doug Gwosdz That reminds me, whatever happened to Joe Zdeb?
Mike Hargrove Some guys make better managers than players (like Eric Wedge), and others make better players than managers (see Butch Hobson). Then there are others who succeed at both (like Mike Hargrove).
Glenn Hoffman Yeah, boyeee, a Red Sox! Sure, it’s Glenn Hoffman, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Steve Carlton Wow, I actually got a good player. He was still relatively good in 1983 and 1984…says here he was traded straight up in ’72 for Rick Wise. Do you think Wise would have had a harder time in the league if his nickname had been Dick instead of Rick? I think so.
Chris Bando There were a few guys I always confused about. Chris Bando was one of them. Was he really also Sal Bando? And was Sal Bando really also Sal Butera? And what about Bert Campaneris? Was he also really Al Campanis?
Charlie Hudson I don’t know anything about this guy, but I think he fits well into the ‘Anonymous Pitcher’ category, along with Floyd Youmans, Ken Hill (for most of his career, anyway), Darren Oliver and James Baldwin (though how can you be anonymous with a name like ‘James Baldwin’? I wonder if the other players used to ask him all the time if Giovanni’s Room was written from the heart…).
Rick Lysander One of the few action shots featuring actual action, though there are no blurred-out fans in center field, so it was probably a batting practice shot.
Steve Garvey Man, that Padres uniform is hideous. How did he get all those ladies?
Carney Lansford Yet another shot of Lansford holding a tiny bat. Also, you can also just make out that he’s rocking a John Lennon Sgt. Pepper’s mustache.
Living Legends: Gaylord Perry & Rollie Fingers I think it’s fair to say that Perry and Fingers are two of my favorite old-school Seventies players. Did you know that Fingers only grew his mustache because Charlie O’Finley paid him $500 to do so? It’s true, though I can’t remember where I read it. Also, did you know that Gaylord Perry was created in a laboratory in an old Bavarian castle and terrorized the citizens of the surrounding small boondock town with his incessant nightly howls, but all was forgotten when he was enlisted—against his will by the town PTA—to play the neighboring boondock town in a much-anticipated and much-heated game of fast-pitch softball? The PTA wanted to see him lose badly, so they could pin him with the inevitable loss (they even brought pitchforks and torches) but to their surprise they found out that Frankenperry pitched lights-out. Actually, I don’t think that’s true, but I wish it was.
Dave Hostetler Didn’t he change his name after retirement and went on to blow out a couple knees with the NY football Giants?
Ned Yost Another great baseball name: Ed Joost. Here’s the real question: are these two last names pronounced the same way? And because ‘Ned’ is a nickname for ‘Edward’, could these two in fact be father and son, or perhaps estranged brothers? For them to be brothers, their parents would have to be lunatics, like George Foreman, for naming their kids all the same.
Kelly Paris Finally! A baseball player with a pornstar name! Oh, Kelly Paris, you don’t know how long we’ve waited!
Joe Simpson So, before Jessica and Ashlee were born, Joe Simpson played for the Royals. No wonder he craves so much power—his horrible batting average shows he never had too much control of his destiny at the plate.

This is clearly the best Donruss set of the 1980s, hands down. No question. And as much as I hated it when they copied one year into the next, it’s too bad they didn’t take more of the strong points of this set (like the photographs) and used them year after year.





That’s right, Bryan, only two sets left.
And yes, that is a baseball.
Now get back in the bullpen!

June 19, 2006

Best Set Countdown: #4 – 1987 Fleer

Sometimes, when I was a kid, I would try helping myself fall asleep by reciting my personal all-star team (by league). Then I would recite all-time teams, usually falling asleep when I came to figuring out who the back-up catcher should be (I naturally chose Fisk as my all-time catcher, though for the record this was before I knew who Josh Gibson was, and really, how can you deny Gibson? I think Fisk would be proud to be the back-up for him and if not proud, then willing to go twelve rounds with him in a bare-knuckle fisticuffs or Greco-roman wrestling for the starters’ job). Anyway, when it came time to reciting the National League team (and we’re talking 1987 through 1990) I always started with Will Clark at first and I always thought of two cards of him immediately: his puke purple 1988 Score card and his ’87 Fleer rookie (the gleaming white teeth, that pose that makes you want to smack him—he knows he’s hot shit).

It was that card more than any other that typified the 1987 Fleer set to me, that lifted it to the upper echelons of card-dom. And when I’d read those early Becketts (I think I still have the one with Andre Dawson as a Cub on the front; and not to sidetrack here, but remember when Beckett had artist’s drawings of players on the inside front and back covers? And remember how they were nearly always of some hot-shit rookie like Todd Zeile? I never really bought the magazine on a regular basis, but I distinctly remember one issue, from 1990 I think, with a beached Robin Yount on the cover and a ridiculous hero-worship charcoal drawing of Todd Zeile on the inside. Really, all that was missing from the artwork was a wolf on a mountaintop howling at the moon or a solemn Native American warrior and it would’ve been complete), it would be the Clark card that was worth $35, not the Bonds, because really nobody gave two shits about Bonds until later.

$35. Do you know what this means for a kid with no income? It means you’re never going to have that much money until you’re an adult. That’s pretty goddamned depressing. But it’s also a revelation: not only would I never have enough to pay for that card on its own, but I would never have enough to buy more than one pack of these cards every 3 months. So really I don’t have very many of these cards. Sure, I bought a lot of the star cards at shows and occasionally I still find one or two of them in the ten-cent bins (I have a deep-seated love for ten-cent bins), but the biggest stars I ever got in packs were George Bell and Lou Whitaker. And yet I love this set. I loved it when it came out, and I love it today. I just fuckin’ love this set. But, like everything else about this countdown, my own personal love for it didn’t influence its standing. In other words, I have my reasons for putting it this far to the top. Here are a few of them.

The baby blue border. For some reason, this is the set where I thought Fleer finally got it right. And really, how many times can you say that Fleer got the design right? If we only look at the Eighties, we can count the instances of a good Fleer design on less than one hand (1981, 1983, 1987 and maybe 1988, but only because we were still drunk on the baby blue gradient from ’87). It just is so smooth, and is it just me or does this set feel smooth too? Combine it with the holier-than-thou factory set tin and you can kiss the competition goodbye.

The Factory Set Tin. Seriously, I would have to rank the 1987 Fleer Factory Set tin the most intimidating item in the hobby at the time it was released. I remember the shop down the street had a few of them and that to open it you had to pop it open, because the metal was tapered in such a way as to mimic poorly-made generic Tupperware, the kind where you could only open it with one swift jerk, resulting in a face and lap full of egg salad (I ate a lot of egg salad sandwiches as a kid). You ended up launching the contents of the set all over your room, ruining the corners of the cards and jumbling up their order. And this was the mother of all sets, so God forbid you actually touched any of the cards with your hands and ruin their prestige. You had to know how to pop it open just so, to make it look like you did that sort of thing all the time (like unhooking a bra or unscrewing the can of snakes at just the right time). The tin (and proper use thereof) was the salad fork of sophistication to the baseball card world. Needless to say, it scared the shit out of me. But that baby blue border—man, that was something else.

The Kirby Puckett card. There’s something about the mid-1980s Twins uniform that really jelled with baseball card designs across the board there for a few years. Or maybe it was just the fact that Kirby Puckett was just a little guy, so the photographer and card designer didn’t have a hard time getting his whole body in the frame with space to spare. Whatever the reason, Puckett’s regular card was usually a highlight of any set. Even cards where it was just a headshot, he was just so photogenic that you could say he possessed Muppet tendencies. He always looked like he was having a good time. Seriously, has there ever been a more lovable and intimidating baseball player? It’s like the guy in Chinatown sold Gizmo to Tom Kelly instead of Billy’s father.

The SuperStar Specials. I’ve written about the Dr. K/Super K card before, but it remains one of the best cards of this set (or any of the decade). It was the icing on the cake, because it came at just the right time to signal the end of an era. I’ve always felt that 1987 was the SuperStar Specials’ last hurrah. From 1983 to 1987, each year Fleer did something new, had interesting arrangements of stars. By 1988 it was old, predictable, and, inevitably, lame. Because how do you follow Dr. K/Super K? How do you top AL Pitcher’s Nightmare? You don’t. And really the best way they could’ve followed it up would have been to not even bother.

The insert sets. I’ve also written how if you wanted to point fingers at who energized the insert movement and decline of the hobby, you could either start with Topps in the Sixties or with Fleer and Donruss in the late 1980s. But I have to admit, the insert sets from this set are fucking sweet. Headliners was nice (kind of like the kind of stupid yearly 56-card set from Donruss called Highlights) but it was really the All Stars that kicked ass (especially thanks to the Star Wars text). I remember saving up to buy a pack when they came out and getting this Roger Clemens All Star. To this day I can’t stand Roger Clemens, but can’t get over my undying love for this card.

I’ll admit it: that last sentence sounds kind of fucked up, especially to someone who’s not or never was a baseball card collector (or just a collector in general). But it’s at the root of what makes a set great. People can love a card or a set (with the same intensity usually reserved for a childhood pet), for any number of different reasons. They will agree that something just clicks when they see the set or card, and they feel better about themselves when they have it near them. Actually, maybe nobody will admit that last part (even if it is true).

So here's to you, Will Clark. May your teeth gleam forever more.

Summer Maintenance

We're always working extra hard to find a new way to make this a better site for y'all. Biggest complaint so far: "I want to comment, but I'm not a blogger.com user!" Well I've just installed a comments section powered by Haloscan that anyone should be able to use. I've also retained the "Blogger Users Comments" so as to not erase some of the great comments...and debates that have been made over the last 6 months.

Also, thanks are in order to whatevs (dot org), the Detroit-rock-city based blog who mentioned this site in an Entertainment Weekly feature on favorite online entertainment sites!

June 17, 2006

Best Set Countdown: #5 – 1989 Upper Deck

This is the most overrated set of the decade. I know all that crap I wrote the other day about ‘rating things fairly.’ Well, is it just me, or has anyone ever rated this set fairly? All I’ve ever seen or read is how great this set is. Am I in the minority who thinks this set embodies everything that’s wrong with baseball cards and card collecting?

I’m not saying the set’s unimportant. If I thought that I would’ve put it down at the bottom with the other goddamned rejects like 1985 Fleer Update. It is important. Hell, it’s one of the most important issued in the decade, or any decade for that matter—but for all the wrong reasons.

I guess if you wanted to get technical you could say that baseball cards were ‘corrupted’ with the introduction of Sportflics in 1986, or if you drank the Kool Aid at Topps HQ you might think it all went to shit in 1981 when your monopoly dissolved. You’d be wrong. Fleer and Donruss didn’t really get their acts together until 1984, so they weren’t really an immediate threat to Topps, and Sportflics was more of a novelty than anything else (I’d be really surprised to read that Sportflics cut into any major part of the Topps profit for the handful of years that they put out sets). No, the real threat surfaced the very first moment a dealer opened a pack of Upper Deck for the first time and the first time he or she compared the Upper Deck product against any other set that year. At least Score got a color headshot on the back; when it came to the combination of color and card backs, Topps, Fleer and Donruss were kind of pathetic. In hindsight, the Upper Deck design wasn’t all that great, but it was a hell of a lot more attractive than any other set put out that year. A chalked foul line, a clean white border, crisp photography, triple-exposed photos, plus a full-color back, with a full-color photo.

This is a lot to do in your first year. And I think this is really what set Upper Deck apart from the other companies: they got it right the first time. They were so professional--right away--that there was no way you could root for them to succeed (or afford any product they put out). For all the shit we give Fleer and Donruss, we do it out of love, and not because we particularly love their sets, but because we love that they were brave enough (or dumb enough) to release sets that would suggest that someone with decision-making power was slightly incompetent. Or if not incompetent, then that the companies recognized that they would never be able to get everything perfect, so their sets were works-in-progress (you can’t tell me with a straight face that 1988 Donruss was their final choice on design).

There was no learning curve at Upper Deck. They weren’t the lovable losers, they were the rich kids. It was Topps and Fleer and Donruss (and to a certain extent Score) who were cast as the rag-tag bunch of misfits, but instead of the scrappy group sending the square-jawed rich kids packing, they assimilated. It took them a couple of years to afford the Polo shirts and the glossy card stock, but they did it. And that’s really where the hobby went downhill. Buying packs was no longer about building a set, it was about finding a crappy insert with a hologram on it. Don’t get me wrong, when I was a kid holograms were just about the coolest thing you could buy (especially if they were holograms of dinosaurs), but when companies began inserting autographed cards, it was inevitable that sequentially-numbered parallels and gold cards and jersey and bat cards and all this other shit would warp collectors’ priorities, until it would no longer be about building a set.

And yes, I think it’s fair to say that all of this started with this set. Here are some other ways this set got it right from the start:

Team Cards Like the Diamond King, this subset succeeded basically because Upper Deck used a huge mega-star from each team, not some poor sap just because he had a good year the previous season. So they’ve got guys like Sandberg, Brett, Strawberry, Nolan Ryan, Will Clark—you know, big stars.

Rookies Up the Wazoo Also borrowing heavily from Donruss, Upper Deck appropriated the Rated Rookie into their own ‘Star Rookie’ subset, setting off the set (like great, hobby-defining sets do) with their priorities concretely on the side of the rookie. Ken Griffey Jr., to be exact. Easily the most sought after and iconic card of this or any set put out since the Canseco Rated Rookie from 1986 Donruss.

A Tale in Two Series Before Upper Deck brought out its High Numbers Series (with cards you’d beg for, including that ridiculous card of Nolan Ryan with the goddamn football and rookies of Todd Zeile and Jerome Walton), no set had had two series of cards since the Seventies. I’m not counting the Topps Traded sets where they numbered the cards starting at #727, to simulate an extra series. This was another huge deal, because it was like the rookie/traded/update sets released around the same time, only you could buy it in packs, which is, although less cost-effective than buying a completed set, admittedly much more fun. Now it seems like every basic major-issue set has at least two series. I think after Upper Deck did this, the first of the other sets to do two series was 1991 Donruss, which was unfortunate, because both series were god-awful (I’ve said it: Donruss should’ve just quit after the 1987 set while they were ahead).

Errors & Misprints It’s inevitable that there will be errors and misprints in any set, mostly because card companies as a collective whole don’t employ proofreaders. That last sentence is not true, of course, but sometimes you have to wonder. Anyway, it always seemed like the average major-issue set in the 1980s was riddled with errors, either in the printing of the cards, bad spellings or missing words. The best was when you’d get a card with the wrong back (I’m thinking of you, 1981 Topps). Other good times included searching in vain at card shows for some goddamn common you couldn’t seem to find only to have it turn out that the company didn’t put that number into the set. Or maybe a card simply wouldn’t have a front or a back. (You know, on most packs of cards there’s tiny fine print that says that if you get ‘damaged’ cards in a pack, you can send them in to the company and they’ll replace them, free of charge. So how awesome would it be to work in that department? Like the Land of the Misfit Toys, only replace ‘Toys’ with ‘Baseball Cards’ and ‘Land’ with ‘Windowless Room’.) Upper Deck didn’t have any really big screw-ups, the biggest being the Dale Murphy reverse negative (they also had a few mixed-up photos, including Fred Manrique/Ozzie Guillen).

So that’s why I hate this set. Oh, and one more reason is because I couldn’t afford any cards from this set until I was older. Seriously, when you’re 11 years old how do you rationalize spending your $5 allowance on two or three packs of Upper Deck over something like eight or nine packs of Topps? Especially with the possibility of getting that kick-ass Gregg Jefferies Future Stars card? Forget it.

Of course, now I can afford packs from this set. Like this one here.

The foil pack doesn’t scan very well, so the hell with it, let’s just get on with the cards! Goddamn foil packs! They’ll slice up your fingers before you can even enjoy the cards…you’ll only learn later when you come to in the ICU that your friend completed a trade with you for your Dwight Smith rookie while you were comatose from the loss of blood…

Actually, let’s skip the cards. It’s a lousy pack, even by 1989 standards. I’ll sum it up in three words: Kirk Fuckin’ Gibson. I would love to see this guy make the Hall of Fame, if for no other reason than he managed looking tough even when he was gimpy. He looks like he woke up in a park, went sixteen rounds with a bear…or a bottle, and then hit his World Series home run.

Get him a bodybag! Yeeaaahhhh!

June 12, 2006

Best Set Countdown: #6 – 1984 Fleer Update

To discuss baseball is to discuss rankings, ratings. List making. Ratings of players, teams, managers, ballparks—everything. If something can be affected by something else, it can be rated. Which brings up the idea of overrating something and underrating something. Last week I said that the 1980 Topps set is the most underrated set of the decade: it’s got a strong Hall of Fame rookie in Rickey Henderson, a nice design and a strong checklist of early-year Hall of Famers Yount, Molitor, Murray and Ozzie, not to mention Hawk Dawson, Winfield, Brett and Ryan. It’s just a great set that deserves more attention. Other sets that are underrated are 1981, 1984 and 1977 Topps (three mostly-forgotten gems) and 1983 Fleer (great rookies, nice design, fun special cards). Are there overrated sets? Sure, of course there are. If you want a good example, look at 1989 Upper Deck. Actually, hold that thought for a few more days and we can examine it together.

But the real question is not if there are underrated or overrated sets, but if there is a middle ground, something to compare these extreme polarities against. There can’t just be two classifications, because if there are then they’re meaningless. Seriously, whatever happened to something just rated fairly?

I’ve tried my best to give the sets on this list a square deal, though sometimes it’s been a little hard, especially when emotion gets in the way (see #11, 1986 Topps). There have been a few that I probably wouldn’t have ranked so high (I’m thinking of you, 1982 Topps), and a few I wouldn’t have ranked quite so low (it’s lonely down there at #40, isn’t it, 1988 Score?). I’ve tried my best not to acknowledge whether a certain set has been historically ‘under-‘ or ‘overrated’, though now that’s a bit harder. We’re halfway through the top 10 sets of the decade, staring down the barrel at one of the most iconic sets in the hobby: 1984 Fleer Update, a set you could make a case as one of the most overrated sets not just of the 1980s, but of all-time. And while I don’t agree with that assessment—it’s not in the Top 10 for nothing—I can see why some collectors would think this way.

First of all, there are really only two cards that separate this set from its Topps counterpart, and that set wasn’t exactly a prizewinner (actually, the two sets differ by 17 to 20 different players, depending on whether you’re awake when you compare the two sets’ checklists). But those two cards are the crux of both arguments: that it’s an overrated set and that it’s a legitimate contender for one of the best of the decade.


Without Clemens and Puckett, it’s true, this set would rank right around where the Topps Traded set is (maybe even a little lower because it was Fleer and Topps was better designed). But because it has Clemens and Puckett and Topps does not cements its standing as legitimate contender. The ‘Overrated’ Argument would state that one or two strong rookies do not a great set make. Hell, I’ve even made this same argument against other sets that are basically one or two strong cards teetering precariously at the top of a pile of commons (see 1986 Fleer and 1989 Fleer). But if you want to play that card, then let’s compare the two strong cards in each set. In the case of 1989 Fleer, Clemens takes Griffey easily in terms of both worth and desirability based on one very central argument to the Clemens card as cornerstone of the hobby resurgence in the 1980s: like there is only one Rickey Henderson rookie card, there is only one true Roger Clemens major-issue rookie card. Pit it up against any card from any set issued during the 1980s and I’d put my money on the Clemens card coming out victorious. Nothing against the Griffey—but when it comes to desirability, there were 4 regular-issue Griffey rookies in 1989 (Bowman, Donruss, Fleer and Upper Deck; Score and Topps included him in their rookie/traded/updates). Let’s not even bother with the undercard match of the Puckett rookie versus the Billy Ripken obscenity card. It’s just not worth the energy. And by the way, while we’re discussing this idea of ‘overrated’-ness and ‘underrated’-ness, is it just me or is the Puckett rookie vastly underrated? Seriously, I can’t think of another card that deserves to be valued more (besides maybe the 1980 Topps Henderson).

As for 1986 Fleer, if you put the Clemens against the Canseco it’s not even a contest and I don’t know who you want to embarrass against the Puckett…maybe the Fielder rookie? Take your pick. The only cards that stand a chance against either of these cards, if we were to arrange a steel cage round robin tournament would be as follows:

• 1986 Donruss Canseco
• 1984 Donruss Mattingly
• 1983 Topps Gwynn
• 1989 Upper Deck Griffey
• 1985 Topps McGwire
• 1985 Donruss Clemens
• 1987 Fleer Bonds
• 1982 Topps Ripken
• 1982 Topps Traded Ripken

That’s it, though if this tournament were held twenty years ago we could’ve included the Will Clark rookie from 1987 Fleer. I think only two of those cards were ever listed in Beckett over $100 (the Ripken Traded and the McGwire), because for some reason I remember the Canseco topping out at $60 and the Clark at $35. The Puckett conservatively lists for $60 and the Clemens is regularly over $200. I mean, that’s sick. So, in terms of monetary value, this set wins based just on the value of two cards.

Another argument: it’s overrated because only 5,000 sets were made, thus making it an early example of elitism in the hobby. The values of the cards were inflated because of the stated print run, forever ruling out the possibility that an average collector (ie kid) could ever afford it. The idea of not being to afford a certain set or card is definitely a bitter pill to swallow, one that can lead to resentment and, coupled with a few teenaged years of acne and rejection from the opposite sex, deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy. All because you never had the chance to turn the Clemens card over in your hand, never mind the joy of seeing that little ‘u’ wink at you, a promise of the very good life you’d most certainly be entitled to. Sigh.

Anyway, here’s where the ‘overrated’ arguments die: this set is very small. And yet despite being very small, it toppled Topps, that struggling old behemoth. It made the company re-evaluate its position within the hobby and in turn helped to prompt a great response: a certifiable renaissance where Topps HQ yanked their design, subset and special card restraints from 1980 to 1984 and, in a short span of 3 years, produced two of the best sets of the decade.

I’ve always thought that one of the tenets of considering something ‘overrated’ was that that thing, whatever it may be, was all surface—and no substance. I know that this might sound cliché, but if you look at Kobe Bryant’s stats from this past season, it’s true he nearly averaged 35 a game. But then you see that there’s no one else on the team, so there’s the argument that somebody has to score. It’s like Tony Campbell on the old Timberwolves teams from the early Nineties: he’s a benchwarmer his whole career and then suddenly he’s a 20-a-night guy? I don’t know, it sounds like somebody’s putting up empty numbers.

I don’t think 1984 Fleer Update is an ‘empty number’ set. Fleer had the balls to include Puckett and Clemens on top of Gooden and Langston and Saberhagen. They pushed at Topps, dared them and outdid them and by doing so helped make the next 3 years very fun to collect. And there’s nothing empty about that.

June 06, 2006

Best Set Countdown: #7 – 1987 Donruss

It really is incredible, but all three major issue sets from 1987 are remarkable, top 10 sets. Why is that? Seriously, there’s usually one lousy set per year, no matter how strong the potential ingredients (see 1985 Fleer or 1989 Score). But it’s like the planets aligned and somehow Donruss, Fleer and Topps each managed to turn out one of their better-designed, stronger-checklisted sets of the decade. It wasn’t exactly like the companies peaked in 1987 (each had a set as strong or stronger before ’87)—it was more like the swan song of the decade. By the time Upper Deck bowed in 1989, the hobby was their oyster.

But back to the set at hand. 1987 was one of the very few sets in the decade where Donruss couldn’t find a way to fuck it up. The design is attractive, if a little derivative of 1985 with the black border (though they did subtract the blood-red
three-dimensional striping for a single thick stripe of gray baseballs, which could’ve been either an homage to the 1982 design, or just a design anomaly seeing as how it actually featured a symbol of the game; either way it was the third-most literal design of any Donruss set of the decade, behind the one-two punch of 1982 and 1983, the ‘Hey-I’m-a-fuckin’-baseball-card-here’s-
a-ball-and-or-glove-to-prove-it’ years).

Besides the design, this set doesn’t fall victim to the Major Rookie/Pile of Commons illness that plagues the 1986 Donruss and Fleer sets; in fact, 1987 Donruss may be one of the few major-issue sets of the decade where there are as many stars and meaningful rookies as commons. Ok, that can’t possibly be true, but there are literally tons of great cards in this set. I really don’t want to unfold the list I made of all the great rookies from 1987, partly because I don’t remember which pants pocket it’s in, but mostly because I know it almost by heart.

And it’s a long one, with much historical and cultural weight. So while I’m not nailing it to the door of a gigantic German church, no one can deny the names on it reformed baseball, for good and bad. Here’s just a sample: Barry Larkin, Rafael Palmeiro, BJ Surhoff, Dan Plesac, Doug Drabek, Kal Daniels, John Cangelosi. A normal set, like 1982 Donruss, had one rookie wave; Cal Ripken and George Bell and Steve Sax and Lee Smith all were good during the same time and their cards got hot and then either stayed hot or didn’t. Better sets, like 1986 Topps, had two rookie waves: Vince Coleman and Lenny Dykstra (first wave) and Cecil Fielder (second wave) peaked at different times, so collectors kept coming back to the set over the years. But those pale in comparison to the three major issues from 1987. I don’t really know how many rookie waves there have been from this Donruss set. Or, actually, maybe it was just one massive wave, like a venerable tidal wave made up of hyped rookies, unhyped rookies, big stars, little stars, role player rookies, no name rookies and guys with one card.

1987 was a watershed year: every team had at least one major rookie, except for maybe the Dodgers (though I’m sure a name will come to me by the end of this post). Here’s a handy list, broken down by team, of the rookies from the Great Rookie Crop of ’87:

Red Sox
Mike Greenwell
Ellis Burks*
Pat Dodson (the only one worthy of Rated Rookie and Future Star)

Angels
Wally Joyner
Chuck Finley
Devon White

Astros
Jim Deshaies

Rangers
Pete Incaviglia
Ruben Sierra
Kevin Brown
Mitch Williams
Bobby Witt
Oddibe McDowell
Mike Stanley


Brewers
BJ Surhoff
Dan Plesac
Chris Bosio

Yankees
Doug Drabek
Bob Tewksbury

Giants
Will Clark
Robby Thompson
Matt Williams*



A’s
Mark McGwire
Jose Canseco (honorary)
Terry Steinbach

Pirates
Bobby Bonilla
Barry Bonds
John Cangelosi
John Smiley*

Indians
Greg Swindell
Andy Allanson
Cory Snyder


Reds
Kal Daniels
Barry Larkin

Tigers
Mike Henneman*
Matt Nokes*

Cubs
Greg Maddux
Rafael Palmeiro
Jamie Moyer

White Sox
Ron Karkovice
Bobby Thigpen


Mets
Randy Myers
Rick Aguilera
Kevin Mitchell
Kevin Elster
Dave Magadan

Cardinals
Todd Worrell
Joe Magrane
Spanky LaValliere

Royals
Bo Jackson
Kevin Seitzer
David Cone

Phillies
Bruce Ruffin


Twins
Mark Portugal

Blue Jays
Fred McGriff*

Expos
Andres Galarraga*

Padres
Benito Santiago
John Kruk
Bip Roberts

*Player had rookie in update/rookie/traded set. Well, except for Galarraga and McGriff (RR, 1986 Donruss). McGriff’s first Topps and Fleer cards were in update/traded sets in 1987. Galarraga’s first Topps card was in the regular set.

These players shaped the league for the next fifteen-plus years. And what’s incredible is that they all came up at around the same time through nearly 20 different organizations. Only 4 teams aren’t represented on this list: the Braves, Mariners, Dodgers and Orioles, but all four were poised for major breakout stars in the next 3 to 5 years.

Every set benefited from this cache of rookies, but the reason that Fleer and Topps rank higher than Donruss is because Donruss didn’t know what to do with all of them. Okay, now let’s say you’re Mr. Donruss (and your wife, Mrs. Leaf, always seems to be a puzzle you can’t quite put together…get it? Puzzle? She’s a puzzle? Just like Clemente and Snider and Ruth and Gehrig and Yaz? And you can’t figure her out cause you keep getting the same goddamn pieces every time you open a lousy pack of cards? Wait a minute—if your name was Mr. Donruss and you somehow got into McGill University and met Ms. Leaf and you two got married, would that make you Mr. & Mrs. Donruss-Leaf? And would your kids have dual citizenship? And would Mrs. Donruss-Leaf wake up every morning and look in the mirror and wish to God that she hadn’t danced with you at McGill’s annual Under-the-Sea Dance, but with Mr. Topps instead? And if one of your kids somehow met a down-and-out Mr. Score on the street and he convinced the kid to take a trip back in time to when you and Mr. Donruss first met, would Mr. Donruss disappear right in front of your eyes and Mr. Topps take his place? Or would Mr. Donruss be replaced by your own kid, so that you somehow got married and had kids with one of your own kids? Because that’s pretty fuckin’ sick, Mrs. Donruss-Leaf, if I may say so myself.)

But seriously, let’s say you’re Mr. Donruss. You have a system to your sets, where you have a limited number of Rated Rookie spots, and you know going in that 1987 will be a particularly strong year. You’d probably want to get as many of the star rookies in as Rated Rookies as possible, right? But you need enough other good rookies to keep the rest of the set afloat, so you’ll need to spread them out a little bit too.

Here’s the actual Rated Rookie checklist for 1987:

28. BJ Surhoff
29. Randy Myers
30. Ken Gerhart
31. Benito Santiago
32. Greg Swindell
33. Mike Birkbeck
34. Terry Steinbach
35. Bo Jackson
36. Greg Maddux
37. Jim Lindeman
38. Devon White
39. Eric Bell
40. Willie Fraser
41. Jerry Browne
42. Chris James
43. Rafael Palmeiro
44. Pat Dodson
45. Duane Ward
46. Mark McGwire

That’s a 52.63% success rate. Not bad, but there’s definitely room for improvement (pulling a Jerry Browne or Chris James RR is not very enticing, especially when kids were paying upwards of $2 for a pack). What could have made this set one of the best of the decade was if Gerhart, Birkbeck, Lindeman, Bell, Fraser, Browne, James, Dodson and Ward were replaced. My Rated Rookies would be as follows:

28. BJ Surhoff
29. Randy Myers
30. Kevin Seitzer
31. Benito Santiago
32. Greg Swindell
33. Barry Bonds
34. Terry Steinbach
35. Bo Jackson
36. Greg Maddux
37. Mike Greenwell
38. Devon White
39. Barry Larkin
40. Ruben Sierra
41. Will Clark
42. Bruce Ruffin (because you always have to include a shitty Phillie)
43. Rafael Palmeiro
44. Todd Worrell
45. Doug Drabek
46. Mark McGwire

I’ll admit, Donruss would never guess a perfect 100% on rookies panning out like this, but the great thing about this set is that even with 19 star RR’s there are enough other rookies to hold up the rest of the set. Also, another interesting point: Canseco’s RR in 1986 was I believe the first time that the major rookie from the set was a Rated Rookie. Mattingly wasn’t a RR in 1984 (Joe Carter was), and neither Clemens, Gooden or Puckett were in 1985. So it’s not entirely surprising that neither Will Clark nor Barry Bonds were RRs, but if they had it would’ve been more on pace with the post-Canseco world. It’s weird, to be honest with you: in 1988 and 1989 it’s almost like Donruss got bored with the set after the Rated Rookies (Alomar and Grace were RRs in ’88, and Sheffield, Griffey and Johnson were in 1989). The Glavine in the 1988 set and the Smoltz and Schilling rookies in the 1989 set are not enough to balance out their respective sets. This could be another reason why these sets aren’t so hot.

To recap:

• 1987 was a banner year
• Enough quality rookies to fill a prison bus (including guys with names like ‘Spanky’ and ‘Wild Thing’)
• Donruss didn’t know how to drive said prison bus (Topps and Fleer did)
• Mr. Donruss-Leaf loves Mrs. Donruss-Leaf, who loves Mr. Topps and would even rather be married to one of her own kids (possible after a series of crazy, madcap time-traveling escapades with Mr. Score) than go on one more day with Mr. Donruss-Leaf.