May 29, 2013

The Hockey Blackout of '79

Many times people approach me on the street, and they're like, "Yo Mike, why you ain't be postin' no hockey cards to The Baseball Card Blog?" And I'm like, "Pfft, for reals, homeslice? It's called 'The Baseball Card Blog,' not 'The Hockey Card Website Thingee' or whatever!" And then they're like, "No doubt, no doubt," and then we do this dope pound/hug thing and I proceed on my way. I have an interaction like this at least four times per day.

And you know what? This hypothetical person raises an excellent point. Why AREN'T there more hockey cards here on The Baseball Card Blog? It's kind of racist. So today I'm going to reach into the vault and pull out a hockey card, from the sport "hockey." It's prolly the greatest hockey card ever made, although, admittedly, I have never seen another hockey card.

So dope. SO dope. It's got all the team leaders in there ... that blurry guy with the hockey stick, and that other guy who maybe is on the team? Or maybe he is a fan with an AUTHENTIC hockey sweater? I think he is wearing a glove. But he could be one of those loser hockey fans who wears his hockey glove to the game and tries to catch a foul puck. The only thing we know for sure is that he's a leader. Leader of the Penguins. Here is a close up:

Another dope thing about this hockey card is how like half of it is blacked out for some reason. I'll never know what Rick Kehoe's legs look like when he's playing hockey, but maybe that is one of those mysteries that will be revealed in heaven. Oh, you might be asking, how did I know that guy was Rick Kehoe? Ha, ha ... y'all better brush up on your Penguins history, playas. What do you think, every guy is "Super" Mario Lemieux or Sidney "The Guy" Crosbyface? J/k I looked at the back of the card.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 1979-80 Pittsburgh Penguins. Feel the excitement. I guess maybe these are all of the Penguins? It seems like there should be more Penguins on the Penguins. Does anyone know how many Penguins make a hockey club? Please respond in the comments.

Anyway, this card keeps is mad real. Topps was like, "Oops, we blacked out half the card and the rest of it is blurry as hell, but oh well. All the important stuff is in there, like those guys." Also, don't forget this guy:

It seriously looks like he is going to jump over the boards and kill someone. I also noticed that the Team Leaders graphic is a hockey puck. Check it out!

I hope the graphic designer who thought of this received an exorbitant raise and is now making a billion dollars per year and living on the coast somewhere.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by The Baseball Card Blog today under the false pretense we'd have a baseball card to look at. Maybe next week, who knows. I'm kind of getting into hockey cards now.


Captain Canuck said...

Of course we know that 20 Penguins make up a team of Penguins. Or more accurately, a 'waddle' of Penguins. (look it up)

and the blurry leader is of course not some loser fan wearing a replica sweater, but starting goalie Denis Herron. Seems like he had a night off to sit and watch.

mkenny59 said...

Thank you, Captain Canuck! Not that I didn't trust you, but sure enough I looked it up and you're right - 20 Penguins is a waddle and one waddle makes a complete hockey group of Penguins. Denis Herron kind of reminds me of the leader of Kobra Kai in this card, so he's okay in my book!