Bill Doran, 1989 Donruss
CHECK OUT MY CAT-LIKE REFLEXES.
I AM READY FOR THE PITCH, PITCHER. PITCH THAT SHIZZ.
I DON'T CARE HOW FAST YOU PITCH IT, I AM READY.
OH SNAP, ABOUT TO GET YOUR PITCH ON, HUH? IMMA BOUT TO POUNCE.
HERE IT COMES ... THE PITCH IS WHAT I AM REFERRING TO.
I AM GOING TO HIT THIS PITCH WITH MY BASEBALL BAT.
BUT ONLY IF IT'S A GOOD ONE!
IF IT'S A CRAPPY PITCH I WILL LET IT PASS UNABAITED.
THIS PITCHER IS CRAPPY SO THE PITCH MIGHT BE CRAPPY ... I MUST REMEMBER THAT.
THIS IS TAKING FOREVER!
THE CROWD IS GETTING READY TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT.
THE PITCH IS CLOSER NOW, ALMOST HERE.
HERE COMES THE PITCH!
ELBOW UP.
THE PITCH IS HERE!
IT IS A LIKE A BLUR TO MOST, BUT I SEE IT CLEARLY WITH MY CAT EYES.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
A) SWING
B) NOT SWING
C) HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PHYSICAL REACTION WHATSOEVER
D) FART
I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND YET.
OH, YO WTF -- THIS PITCH MIGHT HIT ME!
BETTER GET OUTTA DA WAY ... AND FAST!
TOO LATE!
I WASN'T PREPARED FOR THIS SCENARIO!
WAIT, MAYBE IT WON'T HIT ME? MAYBE IT'S JUST TOO HIGH OR SOMETHING.
THIS PITCH IS HIGHER THAN CHEECH AND CHONG (JOKE).
IF THIS PITCH HITS ME IT WILL REALLY HURT NEXT WEEK.
(IT TAKES MY BODY A WEEK TO PROCESS PAIN.)
I AM READY FOR THE PITCH.
FOR REALS THIS TIME.
2 comments:
I get so excited when I see 1989 Donruss on your blog. One of my favorite sets. Awesome orange backs, vibrantly primary colors on the packs and the cards, uniforms still a little cheesy. This set also has an excellent smell, especially right out of the pack....
I also appreciated the '89 Donruss set -- MUCH better than '89 Topps IMO -- however, as someone who currently has the VERY important job of making light of old baseball cards, it's one of the most (along with all mid-to-late 80s Donruss sets) difficult sets to write up b/c there's nothing good on the back. Just "Career highlights." My only hope is finding weird ones like this. I wish that weren't the case b/c I have an S-load of '89 Donruss cards. Anyway, thanks again for the comment, tourist!
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