February 16, 2011

Buff, Meet Bubba; Bubba, Buff

Tom Niedenfuer, 1989 Topps

Check out Tom Niedenfuer, the proudest District Manager of Produce at Orioles fantasy camp.

Ha, ha … (tear). I kid Tom Niedenfuer because he’s a good sport. I think. I’ve never actually talked to him, but I feel like I have, and that feeling says, “Go nuts making light of my professional baseball career—I married an actress who appeared in Playboy, so what do I care?” Okay, Tom, will do!

So by now we all know that Tom Niedenfuer famously married Judy Landers of, among other things, The Love Boat, and less-famously gave up two of the biggest post season bombs in recent baseball history—Ozzie Smith and Jack Clark’s respective 1985 NLCS ding-dongs. But what other interesting tidbits can Topps provide with regards to Tom Niedenfuer, playa extraordinaire?

Born in Minnesota, Tom’s family moved to Pennsylvania when he was age 3. He resided in Scranton and West Chester, then moved to Washington State in 3rd grade.

What happened? Honestly? I feel asleep. Where am I? Tom Niedenfuer? Hold on, I’m sorry—let me read that again.

Born in Minnesota, Tom’s family moved to Pennsylvania when he was age 3. He resided in Scranton and West Chester, then moved to Washington State in 3rd grade.

Wowwwwww! Minnesota, Pennsylvania , AND Washington??!! That’s three states! All before third grade??!! Tom Niedenfuer is da man! I wonder if he had an awesome nickname?!

Nicknamed Buff

For his great physique, as displayed above?

(short for Buffalo “because he had a big head,” Tom Lasorda said.)

That seems like a roundabout way of saying that someone has a big head. Why not just call him “Big Head?” I mean, I realize that buffalo have big heads as compared to humans, but are they like, the big-headed animal of note? I’m a little confused. That also makes consecutive posts referencing large, furry mammals traditionally hunted for sport. If anyone knows of a baseball player nicknamed “Elk,” please send me a card asap so we can keep this thing moving.

Quick aside: I often wish I were a professional baseball player, so that my peers in the clubhouse could endearingly josh me about some perceived physical flaw. Like, I have a cleft lip, so I wonder … would they call me “Clefty?” “Cleft Claven?” “Cleftopatomas?” I guess I’ll never know.

What else?

Daughter, Kristy, was featured on the show “My Super Sweet 16” in 2007.

Interesting to note that she goes by Kristi Flanders as opposed to Kristi Niedenfuer. I’m sure it’s because she doesn’t want any favoritism as she embarks on a professional baseball career. Anyway, that was the episode that featured the girls dancing provocatively with rapper Bubba Sparxxx during the circus-themed party at the Ringling Mansion (?)! That’s the parenting equivalent of giving of giving up two huge postseason home runs in two days! Except worse! Hooray Buff!


Roar of the Tigers said...

I don't have a card, but Ed Heusser was apparently nicknamed "the Wild Elk of the Wasatch", whatever the hell that means.

mkenny59 said...

A tip of the cap and five (monopoly) dollars to whoever sends me an Ed Heusser card! If he's doing something elk-like in the card, we go to lunch, your treat!

tourist504 said...

His wife was also in "Dr. Alien!" Yes, that puctuation is part of the title. This cover box makes me swoon: