A Suggestion for Topps

You know, I want to be excited by this. It looks like they even got Marvin from Pulp Fiction. You know, the guy they accidently shoot and have to call Harvey Keitel to mop up the blood. Well, I don't see a credit for Back on Topps on his imdb.com page, but that really looks like him.

I also like the reference to the "cocaine out of a bread truck," though if we remember back to last year, I believe it was a Mr. Softee truck out in Jamaica, Queens, where the driver was selling cocaine on the side. (His trick? Double-cupping the sundaes. Ingenious.)

So yeah, I want to get excited. But you know what would really get me jazzed on this series--and yes, I just said 'jazzed', which hopefully came across in a completely non-sexual way, though now that I've taken the energy to explain probably does come across as sexual--?

I think you know...

That's right: a re-occurring character who either appears in a dream sequence or within the wacky corporate world of Topps HQ who also happens to be on a mini Allen & Ginter card (or 1975 Topps Mini). Or is Lil' Kwame Brown.

This character would best be played by a real-life athlete, with his character name simply his real name with 'Baby' or 'Lil'' in front of it. Like "Baby Rafael Furcal" or "Lil' Dmitri". Actually, that last one's not bad. Get Dmitri Young on the phone to play the Topps egghead archivist (who expounds on his love of gem mint cards and also happens to be trapped on a mini A & G card).