I remember when I got this set. I was just a little kid and I don’t think I’d ever been to a Rite Aid in my life (and before I moved to New York City, the only place I’d ever heard mention of the drugstore chain was on these cards). I can’t rightly say that today I’m a better man after shopping at a Rite Aid, but I don’t think it’s entirely unfair to say that if I had to name a Team MVP of my local Rite Aid, it would definitely be Alan Trammell.
He has probably never been to my local Rite Aid, nor will he ever. In fact, the only reason he’s the MVP is because he doesn’t work there. And if somehow the heavens aligned tomorrow and he was hired as its manager, he would be the best damned Rite Aid manager you ever did see (and yes, I’m talking about the same Alan Trammell who led the 2003 Detroit Tigers to 119 losses), because as it is right now I hate going there: their prices are too high, the stuff I want never goes on sale and the cashier lines are too long and the cashiers are too slow—wait a minute… I’m thinking of Duane Reade.
I take it all back. Alan Trammell wouldn’t last one day at Rite Aid (but at Duane Reade he’d fit right in).