The Man Who Came to Dinner

John Barfield, 1991 Score

Cool mechanics, John Barfield.

"Your mom liked 'em, Internet weirdo." - John Barfield

Touché, John Barfield. Let's move on.

John was brought up from Triple-A Oklahoma City in late May ’90 as a temporary replacement for Gary Mielke

That is the SEXIEST story about opportunity knocking I have ever heard. It’s also, coincidentally, exactly how I started blogging.

But, like the man who came to dinner, John pitched so well in middle and long relief, he just stayed and stayed and stayed.

What

Texas Rangers equipment manager Dizzy Flapperton: STILL HERE, EH BARFIELD? YOU’RE LIKE THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER.

John Barfield: Ha, ha, yeah … what?

Flapperton: THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER, YOU KNOW—THE FAMOUS MOVIE.

Barfield: Uh, I’m not black.

Flapperton: NOT THAT DINNER MOVIE YA’ BIG DUMMY! THE 1942 COMEDY STARRING MONTY WOOLLEY, DUH.

Barfield: I don’t … I just … I am 25.

Flapperton: YOU DANG KIDS DON’T KNOW NOTHIN’ ABOUT CULTURE. YA’ JUST PITCH YOUR BALLS AND HIT YOUR BALLS AND I’M THE ONE WHO’S GOTTA CLEAN UP THE MESS.

Barfield: That sounds gross.

Flapperton: BUT AT LEAST YER HERE. OL' MIELKE IS BACK THERE ON THE TRAINER'S TABLE AGAIN, AND GETTIN' PAID FOR IT TOO, NO LESS. I SWEAR THAT GUY IS LIKE THE THIEF OF BAGDAD ...

Barfield: ...

Flapperton: THE THIEF OF BAGDAD.

Barfield: ...

Flapperton: FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD! THE POINT IS, JUST KEEP PITCHING WELL IN MIDDLE AND LONG RELIEF, AND YA' CAN STAY FOR DINNER AND EAT AS MUCH LASAGNA AS YA’ LIKE, OKAY GARFIELD?

Barfield: It’s “Barfield.” Why are you yelling?