Choose Your Own Adventure... Title Card



After several seasons of flagging ticket sales, the Major League Baseball owners knew they needed something to reignite the fires of fans' interest in America's pastime. Working in secret with foreign scientists, a super-strength formula was developed and secretly disseminated among the players. Masked as team-mandated flu vaccinations, the players did not know what was being injected into their bodies. The formula worked quickly and worked well. The drugs made players bigger, faster, stronger!

Long standing records were shattered, and stadium attendance soared! The owners were to busy counting their money to notice anything was wrong. But something was wrong - very wrong...

Rumors of strange side effects began to surface. Beginning on the west coast, ball players with the Oakland Athletics started showing strange symptoms: increased aggression, cranial growth, an inability to feel pain, shrunken testicles, trouble speaking, back acne, cognitive declines, and weird cravings for very raw meat. The team was winning games at a record clip.

Soon enough, players from around the league began to show similar symptoms. Before anyone discovered the owners' evil plans, it was already too late. The game was the same, but the players had changed...

“Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;

But there is no joy in Baseball — for the zombies have come out.”

Go to Card #592

Choose Your Own Adventure... Card 585

Warning: Parental advisory for violence, blood, foul language, and Bud Selig. This is a set of Choose Your Own Adventure cards by PunkRockPaint. If you have reached this page by accident and want to start at the beginning of the story click here.



You swing your open palm at his cheek, hoping to smack a little sense into him. His calloused hand grabs your wrist mid-smack. Before you can apologize, he is putting on shin guards, a chest protector, and pulling a catcher’s mask over his face. “Look for weapons, anything we can use!” Searching through lockers, you gather a few bats, a couple pairs of cleats, and a less-than-intimidating pair of athletic-tape scissors.

Yount looks like a samurai, ready for battle. “I grabbed some gear for you too. Put it on.” As you struggle with all the equipment, you catch glimpses of him heavily coating pine tar over the barrels of two bats. He ducks into the manager’s office, and throws a chair through the window separating the two rooms. After rolling the bats in the shards of broken glass, he hands you one. He pulls a can of deodorant spray from a nearby locker and says, “I have an idea…”

Go to Card #599

Choose Your Own Adventure... Card 95

Warning: Parental advisory for violence, blood, foul language, and Bud Selig. This is a set of Choose Your Own Adventure cards by PunkRockPaint. If you have reached this page by accident and want to start at the beginning of the story click here.







Looking up, you get a view of the most beautiful swing - from an angle you never see on TV. Yount’s bat glides over your head, and with a loud crack, sends zombie-Sheffield’s head flying deep to the chalet in center. You follow the arc, and cringe as it hits an unsuspecting Bernie square in the crotch. He doubles over in pain, and falls head first down his slide. Scrambling to stop his descent, the mascot screams in terror as he slides into a giant mug of clawing undead.

“Quickly,” Yount hisses through clenched teeth, “we don’t have much time!” The hulking outfield combo of Greg Vaughn and Rob Deer have almost reached the infield. The undead streamed from the bullpens in right. Where they had been spread out before, you realize as they get nearer, you both are quickly becoming surrounded. You follow him into the dugout, down the hall, into the darkness beyond...

Go to Card #576

Choose Your Own Adventure - Card #223

Warning: Parental advisory for violence, blood, foul language, and Bud Selig. This is a set of Choose Your Own Adventure cards by PunkRockPaint. If you have reached this page by accident and want to start at the beginning of the story click here.



Knowing the horrors that await on the field, you blurt “He’s probably gone to the offices. Let’s go!” You run, following Yount up the staircase, his spikes clanging loudly with every step. Each step sounds like a zombie dinner bell in your mind. Bursting into a dimly lit hallway lined with doors, you notice a flickering light from under the one at the end of the hall. Sprinting toward the light, Yount arrives two full strides ahead of you and slams his shoulder against it. The door explodes open, and he tumbles into the room. Bud Selig looks up in surprise, “Good! I… I know a way out! Wait just a minute…” he rifles through the desk’s top drawer. Yount has moved to the open doorway, listening for pursuers. You come stand next to him, holding your breath as you, too, listen to see if you have been followed. Whack! You are struck from behind and fall to your knees, as the world goes black. The last thing you see before drifting off is Selig with an arm around Yount’s head, emptying a syringe into his neck.

Go to Card #540