Scoring: The two cards go head-to-head in each of the eleven categories, with each cards scoring up to three points in each category.
• Teamwork Extra points for symmetry (even if entirely coincidental)
• Coach Attire Extra points for eccentricity and/or coordination
• Uniforms
• Background
• Personnel
• Floating Heads Extra points if heads constitute borderline religious experience
• Card Design
• Photo Quality
• Number of Players
• Special Notation of Futility
• World Champions
1978 Brewers (2) vs. 1970 Expos (15)
Teamwork The Expos get three points for flashing some outstanding Busby Berkeley-style dance tableau symmetry (first row, hands on knees; second row, arms crossed; third and forth rows, arms by sides, everybody flanked by two guys in baby blue warmup jackets and two other guys on bended knee). Not to be outdone, the Brewers also flash their considerable talent with the ingenious use of batboys and bats, not to mention that they look more like a collection of players than a real team. 1978 Brewers: 3 points | 1970 Expos: 3 points
Coach Attire Let’s not let the fact that the Brewers didn’t have a manager at the time get in the way here. You got the trainers and equipment managers amongst the players, and a gargantuan fella wearing number 33 with the face of George Bamberger and the body of an Ent from Lord of the Rings. I’m going to call him Frankenbrewer, say he’s a coach, and award a special point for the Brewers having pants on hand that fit him. I also like the trainer in the third row with the aviator sunglasses and the combover. 3 points for the Brewers. The Expos have two guys in Expos warm up jackets and Red from That 70’s Show in a three-piece suit. 1978 Brewers: 3 points | 1970 Expos: 3 points
Uniforms Haven’t we seen those Brewer jerseys somewhere else? Oh yeah…they’re almost exactly the same as the 1987 Maine Guides. It’s like the Brewers gave them to the Guides, the Guides steamed off the letters and ironed on their own. Expos take this category. 1978 Brewers: 1 point | 1970 Expos: 2 points
Background The Expos are in front of a makeshift batting cage, and the great part about it is that the cage doesn’t extend the length of the frame. That’s poor framing on the part of the photographer. The Brewers are in Milwaukee, where they should be, beer stein and all. 1978 Brewers: 3 points | 1970 Expos: 1 point
Personnel 1978 Brewers: Yount (HOF), Cooper, Haas, Bando, Lezcano, Hisle, a Frankenbrewer… 1970 Expos: Staub… 1978 Brewers: 2 points | 1970 Expos: 1 point
Card DesignBoth are serviceable designs, but don’t deserve more than one point. 1978 Brewers: 1 point | 1970 Expos: 1 point
Photo Quality The Brewer photo is a classic. The Expos in the photo show good composition, but the photo itself ain’t that great. 1978 Brewers: 3 points | 1970 Expos: 1 point
Number of Players Q: How many Expos does it take to lose 110 games? A: 43. Out of the 41 Brewers in the photo, 11 aren’t players. 1978 Brewers: 2 points | 1970 Expos: 3 points
Total Score: 1978 Brewers 18 points
1970 Expos 15 points
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