September 04, 2013

He's Mighty, Mighty

Len Whitehouse, 1984 Topps

Chris Berman, 1983 SportsCenter telecast: (Twins versus Royals highlights air) Twins facing the Royals from the Twin Cities, a.k.a. "el dos twinkos cuidados" (untrue) ... Twins go up by 2-0 on a deep ball by Mickey Hatcher - THE MICK INDEED ... Twins trying to hold on to that lead in the sixth ... (Len Whitehouse appears on screen) He's a White ... (pulls out a horn from underneath desk, play a few notes) ... HOUSE. (A star is born, history is made, sports go mainstream)

That was cool when that happened. But seriously it's a great joke, a great line. First of all, it references that Rick James Commodores song, "Brick House," about the girl who is so sexy that she is shaped liked a square house made of bricks. Ooooh baby that is sexy. Plus Len Whitehouse IS white. And also sexy. With his 36 (innings pitched)-24 (hits allowed)-36 (bubble butt). Anyway, I am getting a little bit off track here. Let's refocus. Serious question: What is Len Whitehouse doing today?

He bats and throws left-handed.

Still. He still does that.

He is currently retired and living in the North End of Burlington

The American dream. Would it be that we could ALL face a handful of lefties in middle relief for a few years and then retire to the north end of Burlington! Sit by the fireplace on a cold, winter's night, snuggled up in an affordable coat from the nearby coat factory, and regale stories to our grandkids about how ...

one of Len's most impressive career moments was when he had Reggie Jackson's 1,000 strikeout.

Who can ever forget:

Chris Berman, 1975 telecast: Whitehouse rears BACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACK ...  and GONE! From the batter's box that is! Reggie Jackson strikes out for a world record 1,000th time ... the Twins are carrying Len "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" Whitehouse off on their shoulders and we're only in the seventh inning here! It's bedlam!

Guys, Reggie Jackson struck out for the 1,000th time in 1975; Whitehouse entered the league in '81. Is it possible I am misinterpreting the eloquent phrase "he had Reggie Jackson's 1,000 strikeout?" Like he has the ball maybe? He has it on videotape? Ha, ha WHATEVER.

What else?

Pitched 2 scoreless innings for Win, 5-13-83.

I think @MrBrianKenny would enjoy that one. #keepthewin #whitehouse #achievements #northendofburlington

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