August 21, 2013

The BMC Blog



Batman, 1989 Topps, No. 3

First, allow me to apologize. This is not a baseball card. This is a Batman card that I found in my baseball cards. I am sorry. I mean, not really. I am not really that sorry or else I just wouldn't have posted this. But really - I am sorry.

Guys, though, seriously. This card. You got your Kim Basinger, your Michael Keaton ... some books. This card has everything. Now, I know this is from the movie, but like, this very shot? Is this a still shot from the movie? Maybe a part where that guy from Arli$$ is badgering them about something and Kim and Mike are all like, whatevs, but also don't want to be rude? Maybe. I don't know, haven't seen the movie in a while. OR - and hear me out now - is this a posed shot for a Topps Batman card? I think it might be - I want it to be - a posed shot for a Topps Batman card.

"Alright everybody, CUT! Gonna take a 20 here. Fred, you ready? Guys, this is Fred from Topps ... " - Tim Burton

I don't know. All I know is, you can cut the sexual tension in here with a Bat-knife. If you look up "smoldering" in the dictionary, there is a picture of this Batman card. Where is Alfred? Someone needs to hose these two off with a fire extinguisher, amirite? #batman #batsex #exposedshoulders

The other cool thing about this card is that it's a sticker?


That is great because the places one would want to stick this Batman sticker are limitless. I cannot think of one place 11-year-old me would NOT want to proudly display this sticker of Micheal Keaton and Kim Basinger looking harrowingly into my very soul. I don't know though, this "peel" might be a typo because I have been trying to peel this sticker off for the better part of a morning - SORRY BOSS, NOT NOW, TRYING TO PEEL OFF THIS BATMAN STICKER - and it is not budging. It's possible a quarter century of dormancy has atrophied the stickiness, but I honestly thought Topps was better than that. Or was this made in Vietnam? Sheesh.

But all is not lost because whether this is a sticker or not, the back of the card features The Joker's hat and crotch.


If anybody out there has the other parts of this Joker puzzle, please keep it to yourself because this is embarrassing for everyone. Also, Ben, is it cool if I post a Batman card this week? If yes, say nothing.

Cool.

3 comments:

Jeff said...

This was a pretty charmed post, given today's Batman news. I always thought that this blog had an inside Hollywood source...

mkenny59 said...

Jeff, right?! Also: BEN Henry ... BEN Affleck ... both with Boston roots ... too much evidence. I thought this was a coincidence, but obviously not.

pulpephemera said...

Like a lot of folks, I, too, have a gathering of these Burton Batman movie misfits, circa late 80s (though I seem to be missing this one, sadly). For the longest time, their foreign, non-sports species intermingled in long boxes with the likes of Eddie Murray and Cal Ripken, but they've been rounded up and separated now. In any case, while I also enjoy writing about such pulp ephemera (plug!), I don't think I could have spun a yarn quite as entertaining as this about such exquisite schlock. So kudos. And did you ever get around to reading Wilker's Cardboard Gods? Some of your posts remind me of that collection. Have you considered/pursued trying to gather and organize some of your writings here into a manuscript for publication? I saw you already released a book related to your other blog project--and that you do a humor column for a couple of papers. Anyway, if you ever do piece together a baseball card narrative for a book-length work then I bet it'd be pretty great. Keep up the good work!