May 06, 2012

Casting Agent: "Baker's Dozen"

For this Sunday's game of Casting Agent, I've picked the shoot-em-up genre, made-for-TV–movie variety. For those readers who are unfamiliar with Casting Agent, the object of the game is to cast a TV show, movie, or play based on the photographs used on baseball cards.

So this week I've got a stack of cards that I think would be perfect for an ensemble made-for-TV movie, one I'm calling Baker's Dozen. It's your garden-variety ensemble of misfits teaming up to vanquish the baddie while overcoming their differences type film. With a high body count. 

"A" Plot: When a secretly corrupt U.S. Senator and his mistress get taken hostage by a band of pirates off the coast of Africa, the president calls for a clean rescue. There's only one group who can handle the assignment: Baker's Dozen—Sargent Don Baker (ret.) and his 12 super soldiers. There's just one problem: their last assignment was five years ago, it didn't end well, and there was a falling out with the men.  

"B" Plot: The president's son is in cahoots with the pirates. 

Characters
Warren Giles as Senator Griggs


Gene Woodling as retired Sargent Don Baker

Jose Laboy as Jax aka "Number 1," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Owns a chain of car washes in California

Paul Serna as Univac aka "Number 2," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Engineer for Department of Defense

Brian McRae as Hobo John aka "Number 3," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Is a hobo

Tommy Harper as Smooth aka "Number 4," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Sells ladies' shoes at a department store in Omaha

Turk Farrell as Fingers aka "Number 5," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Gifted concert pianist, travels the world over

Jerry Lumpe as Bloodmaker aka "Number 6," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Works as a butcher in the meatpacking district of New York City

Shane Mack as Fuzz aka "Number 7," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Tour guide at the Getty in Los Angeles

Ryan Howard as Furlough aka "Number 8," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Traffic cop in Chicago

Joe Adcock as The Canadian aka "Number 9," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: International figure-skating judge, representing Canada

George Foster as Ugly Pete aka "Number 10," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Chuck Berry impersonator on a Branson riverboat

Don Newcombe as Pops aka "Number 11," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: junior U.S. Senator representing the great state of New Mexico

Whitey Lockman as Slim aka "Number 12," member of Baker's Dozen
Civilian job: Runs a chop shop in Louisville, Kentucky

Barry Bonds as Etienne, the lead Pirate

with Jimmie Dykes as the President

and Bart Johnson as the President's son

2 comments:

Kevin said...

"Civilian job: Is a hobo."

That cracked me up, Ben.

tourist504 said...

Hee hee. Ugly Pete.