February 29, 2012

Power Center


Kirby Puckett & Eric Davis, 1989 Fleer, SuperStar Specials

Here is a picture card of baseball players Kirby Puckett and Eric Davis crossing paths at the pre-game for the All-Star Game and pretending to sort of speak to one another for the sole purpose of this very picture card.

Hey, so uhhh, they take this pic yet?
Pfft.
Okay, how’s a … your family? You got a family?
Not kids, man. Ain’t tryin’ to hear that. Got like, aunts and stuff though.
Oh, word? They cool?
They cool, they cool.
CLICK.
Alright I’m out, peace.


The title of this card is POWER CENTER. That is because both of these fellas play center field and also they have power that is famously generated from their respectively strong/large abdomens (and, in Davis' case, wrists). POWER CENTER.



When it comes to playing the outfield, Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins and Eric Davis of the Cincinnati Reds come front and center

How so? Like on a theatrical stage or as part of The Dairy Queen Trilogy? No, that can’t be it. How about:

When it comes to playing the outfield, Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins and Eric Davis of the Cincinnati Reds come front and center … centerfold, that is, because of their hot bodies.

No?

When it comes to playing the outfield, Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins and Eric Davis of the Cincinnati Reds come front and center … center on a basketball team that is, because that is also a sport that maybe they play sometimes.

Almost?

When it comes to playing the outfield, Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins and Eric Davis of the Cincinnati Reds come front and center … circumcenter, that is, because they are both circumcised, prolly.

Getting warmer? Okay, hit me with the realness.

When it comes to playing the outfield, Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins and Eric Davis of the Cincinnati Reds come front and center … center field, that is.

Mind = blown. I never saw that one coming, but it makes perfect sense. Give me more.

His 234 hits also topped the majors for the second consecutive season, and that was the best total for an AL right-handed hitter since Al Simmons had 253 in 1925—sixty-three years ago!

Thank you for doing the math there, card, because “1925” on its own held no weight for me. I don’t know if 1925 was yesterday or when dinosaurs lived. Also, the exclamation point was a pleasant, subtle touch, and really drove home the amazing fact that Kirby Puckett achieved the glorious feat of having twenty less hits than Al Simmons for the first time since zero players did that, or something.

It was the most for a right hand batter in either league since Joe Medwick had 237 for the Cardinals in 1937—fifty-one years ago!

Geez, and I thought 61 years ago was a long time ago; how about 51 years ago! Truly, the value of Kirby Puckett’s baseball ability is best described by the time that has elapsed since different plays did similar things in a different era when everything was different.

What about Davis?

He hit 26 home runs, and at one stretch during the season he had four before any of his teammates hit one.

Small sample size, flukey, neither here nor there, Kal Daniels was second-best for the season on the Reds with 18 home runs, so using his teammates as a measuring stick for Davis’ power is rather pointless, and this is stupid. But other than those things, that is the most amazing thing I have ever read, and it eventually led to this newspaper lede from 1988.

CINCINNATI – Paul O’Neill led the Reds in home runs yesterday with one, which is the most for a Reds batter since Eric Davis hit two on Wednesday—two days ago! One could say that, with regards to O’Neill, all is right … right field that is.

3 comments:

troy said...

I had never heard of the Dairy Queen Trilogy. And now I am wondering how it is that you had.

mkenny59 said...

Ha, ha! Complete accident I found that ... honest. I have totally never read those books. Although I DO love Dairy Queen, so I may just go ahead and see if this trilogy is about Blizzards.

Commons4Kids.org said...

That last paragraph is awesome and as a Reds fan, I have this card....I honestly don't like any of those types of duo cards because they all look like "bad pics" that your friends tag u in on the Facebooks.