Tabler Quad

Pat Tabler, 1991 Score

Let’s just get right into this:



No matter what Pat does in the rest of his baseball career, he will always be remembered as the guy who always gets a hit with the bases loaded.

That is a bit presumptuous, no? This may sound somewhat outlandish, but let us say, for example, that one day while playing in a professional baseball game, Pat Tabler decides, out of nowhere, to pull down his pants and poop on second base. I may be wrong, but I would imagine that this occurrence would override his penchant for hitting well with the bases loaded in terms of his legacy. I would say things like, “Hey, remember when Pat Tabler pooped on second base?” and then the other person, my bestest friend, would say, “Heck yeah. That was ridonk.” And then I’d be like, “Didn’t he always get a hit with the bases loaded?” And my friend would be like, “What?”

Again, that is an extreme example. I just use it to illustrate the point that I greatly despise when people close the door on Pat Tabler’s potential accomplishments when his career is in midstream. Still though, I must admit it is impressive when a guy always gets a hit with the bases loaded. Always is a lot of times!

Well, not always,

What? I always take always literally! Pat Tabler is a fraud!

but more than any other player in at least the last 15 years.

That “statistic” sounds like something that John Kruk made up off of the top of his head during one his rambling episodes on Baseball Tonight. I mean, “in at least the last 15 years?” What does that mean? If it was more than 15 years, then just give me the amount of years. It’s not as if baseball started tracking statistics in 1976. Just look it up. You owe it to Pat Tabler.

Nevertheless, let’s pretend it’s 2010, and Pat Tabler never did poop on second base. Let us discover whether or not Score was prophetic. Wikipedia?

He gained attention for his amazing success in bases-loaded situations: 43 for 88 (.489) with 108 RBI.

Okay. But “gaining attention for” is not necessarily a legacy.

In his career, Tabler was known as a remarkably clutch hitter and for his uncanny ability to hit with the bases loaded, batting just under .500 in such situations (43 for 88).

Alrighty then. Those statements are four sentences apart, by the way, so I will take Wikipedia’s redundancy as proof of Pat Tabler’s legacy. Still, there must be something else that serves to define Pat Tabler as a person.

He has mentioned on a few occasions that he is a fan of band Jethro Tull.

I love how Wikipedia refrains from openly stating that Pat Tabler is fan of Jethro Tull, but instead cites undocumented occurrences where Pat Tabler mentioned as much. Allow us to document these occurrences:

Pat Tabler, at 1982 batting practice at Wrigley Field: I am a fan of band Jethro Tull.

Pat Tabler, at 1987 Jethro Tull concert: I am a fan of band onstage.

Pat Tabler, at home in 1990: Check out my Jethro Tull stuff. I am a fan of band, that is them.

One more Pat Tabler-related item, then I’ll stop. Promise.

It was rumored that a residential quad was named after him on the Stony Brook University Campus, however, the quad was built and named in the late 1960’s, long before his MLB career began.

This rumor gained steam when Jethro Tull randomly decided to play a free concert at Tabler Quad in 1988. May I also applaud the student body at Stony Brook University, for recognizing the ironic iconic greatness of one Pat Tabler. Mathematician Vladimir Tabler may have founded Stony Brook University in 1958*, but Pat Tabler had 34 doubles in 1987. I think we all know whose quad that really is.

*may not be accurate