September 15, 2010
Cecil Fielder, 1995 Upper Deck
Now, I know what you’re thinking: Where is Cecil Fielder? Well, if you look closely, and maybe squint your eyes a little bit, you will see him over there, in the center of the card. Outlined in pink. Perhaps then you will say, “But why is he outlined in pink?” Ha, ha, ha! Don’t be stupid.
This is part of the extremely popular Upper Deck “Collector’s Choice” series, which appealed unabashedly to its demographic via the use of pink squiggly lines and overloaded statistical data. This particular card is cleverly titled “HOME RUN.” A home run is what happens when a baseball player hits the ball over the fence. That is why you see Cecil Fielder here, hitting one of his monstrous home runs. If you happen to be mistakenly looking at this card upside down, and are confused by what you are seeing, because the card is upside down, you will still know that the card is entitled “HOME RUN.” This is a great feature for a card to have, obviously.
We also discover here that Fielder topped the Major Leagues in RBI from 1990-92. Cool! Now you may be saying to yourself, “Cool! How many RBI?” Ha, ha! You are a person of many inquisitions! That information however, will have to wait for the Internet. It's 1995, so the Internet should be ablaze with Cecil Fielder statistical data by now. Or, if you happen to have other, more normal Cecil Fielder cards, and a calculator, possibly you can add up these three-year totals and rest easy knowing the exact answer. (Nerd!) Until then, enjoy the action!
Whew. That was fun. Let’s turn this baby over, and see what else Cecil Fielder has in store:
Whoa! The back of this card is even more fun to look at if, in your own head, you make noises that go, “Zonks!” and “Boing!” and also “Ker-plunkers!” Because check it out –- you make the play! Yeah, you! Did you make the play yet? No? Well you should, because this card is so interactive! Seriously, you can do anything with this card. You can hold it. Or look at it. You can take it on the bus. You can put it away. You can pretty much do whatever you want!
So go ahead –- make the play! Who knows, maybe you’ll hit a HOME RUN!
Labels: Cecil Fielder