May 28, 2008

Taking Bullshit to New Heights


Some heavy stuff 'round here lately, eh? Seems the hobby might not be as rosy-tinted as I'd like to believe. Lucky for me, the card companies are in an arms race for who can make the craziest bullshit cards. This has been going on for decades, but only now does it seem to be really out of control.

A few years ago I did an interview for Midweek's Take One where I said that I was waiting for a card of Johnny Damon's beard shavings from when he left the Red Sox to join the facial hair-less Yankees. And if not that, then a sweat-drenched card of anyone in particular, as that was the way things were going circa early 2006. So don't you love it when life answers your prayers?

First Topps included a strand of George Washington's favorite powdered wig. And now Upper Deck is taking it a step further: The Hair Cut Signatures series, to be released over at least two products (SP Legendary Baseball and Piece of History Baseball). You got your Babe Ruth, your George Washington, an Andrew Jackson, Abe Lincoln and Alexander Hamilton. What, no Chester A. Arthur?

Each card will include a strand of hair and a cut signature. See, I'd be more impressed if Upper Deck had built a time machine and sent a sunglasses-clad Richard McWilliam with Sharpie in hand back to get Hamilton et al to sign on the card. Also, it would be interesting to see if McWilliam's actions in the past changed the present enough to make Upper Deck disappear.

6 comments:

Eric B. said...

I was wondering why someone had cut all those holes at the end of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence...

monkeyinabox said...

Come to think about it, the hair cut series might be more useful for current players. The cards could be a sort of DNA evidence lockbox for when some woman comes forward and claims a player did this or that. She could point out that the hair sample she saved and the one from the card match. Bingo.

Collectors would win too because when the scandal broke the hair sample cards on eBay would go up up up, and not like my Roger Clemens, Jose Canseco and MArk McGwire rookie cards.

dayf said...

Chester A. Arthur was a good president, dammit!

Why, it's Clark! said...

Chester A. Arthur: Good hit, no field.

Jason said...

Chester A. Arthur didn't even have a TMBG song written about him. James K. Polk!

misterc said...

You call this creative? How about a piece of the underwear Palmer wore or the pantyhose Namath wore or Hanes underwear jordan and cuba gooding wears. Come on guys, get with it...Don't forget the skid marks.